whenever I wonder why I am doing this, or what I will do next I remember this:

http://www.neighborhoodbridges.org/

emotionally overwhelmed.

Is it really only Tuesday?

No one ever tells you that the week before an extended break is going to be the worst week. So far since last Friday I've had 2 almost-fights in my room, 4 lunch detentions, I've had to tattle out one of my students who has been coming to school high, many tears and upset kids in my class, and on top of all of this I am having my formal observation tomorrow by my principal. yikes.

I have so much emotional investment in my students and I have been doing all I can for them in my days at Noel and my nights at home.. I love them but it is very frustrating when they continuously disappoint me in their behavior and their actions outside of school. I wish I could help them out in so many more ways, but all I can do is help them when they are at school. I want to help them make better decisions, help them realize that they DO matter and that they will be successful. Often I feel like a broken record in the words I say to them and I don't think that they understand how much I care about them and how much I believe in them. They probably don't. But I know that I get up every day and go to that school because I don't think it is hopeless. Even though it often feels that way, I don't sincerely think it is. And some time, some day, this will all give me something in return.

Peace and tired bones,

C

what's new and funny

this was the longest week EVER. lots of long days and short nights of sleep.

What's funny in my class? Let's see..

My 6th graders think that I am dating Mr. Ortiz (Lars) and they ask me EVERY DAY if I love him, if I kiss him, etc. It's funny but also sucks a ton of time out of my lesson.

Two of my students made raps about bugs for the "bug project" I made up for them. They have yet to perform it but I'll keep posted about how it goes.. so far, Daunte's goes like this:

"I saw a huge bug

it knocked over Miss Younts' coffee mug

and then it changed into a slug" clever kiddo.

It was a crazy day... crazy week. Off to office Christmas party and TFA semi-formal. woop.

say to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.."

Stressed to the max!

Right off of Thanksgiving break I had a 3 day inservice training for my reading curriculum- while I thought it would be nice to not have to go straight back to my "monsters" I actually would have rather been in school these last three days than sitting through these long sessions! But now I am all trained up and heading back to school tomorrow- I have really missed my kids! And being gone just makes the work load pile up quicker.. I also have had to do make-up grading hours for getting Dec. 21st off of work, so it's just been LONG days since I've been back.

Break in Grayslake was great, got to see lots of friends, have lots of drinks and spend time with my parents. Looking forward to break coming up but also just trying to enjoy living out west in the winter! Lots of holiday parties to come, fun holiday things to do with friends, possibly more skiing??

In the mean time... back to work before "Glee" and chili on this cold Colorado night.

Love and peace,

C

First CO ski trip!

I skiied at Keystone this Saturday and Sunday! Got the first use of my Colorado Pass (which gives me access to Keystone, Breckenridge, Arapahoe Basin, Vail and Beaver Creek) and I also go the first use of my brand new ski boots I bought and my new (used) skis that I bought last week as well! It was a lot of fun - Danielle and I had to teach our friends how to ski for a while, but since most of the mountain wasn't open, it was a good time to do that. I cannot wait to go more frequently when it snows more and hit some harder slopes! It's a blast.

2 days then off to Chicago for Thanksgiving on Tuesday until Sunday. Will be nice to have a break from school, but things are really good out here. While it's still ups and downs and a very stressful job, I am happy for the most part. I am happy busy and happy with the friends I am making and the people I know. Very grateful to be living in such a beautiful place and to have beautiful and supportive people around me.

Peace and turkey grease. :o)

C

Student: Miss, I got a detention for saying binch.

Miss Y: Why did you say that?

Student: I thought it was a spelling word.

** I don't know why, but this has been one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time.

Student: Miss, I have to tell you something.

Miss Y: Do you have to tell me right now?

Student: Yes, come here please.

Miss Y: Yes?

Student: Miss, you're really pretty. She dared me to say that to you! We're playing truth or dare!

Student: Miss, isn't it cool when you meet people from other cultures?

Miss Y: Do you know what being racist means? Have you noticed that I am the only one of my race in this class?

Student: Yes, and that doesn't matter. That just means we are all brothers and sisters.

Student: Miss, see you forgot to put the directions on this.

Miss Y: I know, I'm sorry. I am a bad teacher.

Student: No, you're not a bad teacher. You just forgot! Everyone forgets things sometimes.

Just another Thursday

Good things about today:

*I spoke Spanish on the phone with one of my student's parents! And she understood me!

*This led to a good conversation with two of my students about culture, language and her own personal story.

*Also good conversations with my 6th graders about texting while driving based on an article that I read to them.

*An 8th grader of mine asked me to help him with his application for a specialized high school for career prep.

Not-so-good things about today:

*Had to break up a girl fight between girls that I really like.

*Had to drop Deanna off at the airport after a really great visit.

*Still haven't decided on the grad program out here and the deadline is basically tomorrow.

* Missed out on margs at Emilio's because I am so wiped out and forgot my wallet at home.

Just another Thursday... 2 more weeks until home for turkey. yay.

November already!

I just wrote a long post and it disappeared.. too tired to rewrite it all, but I will post my Minneapolis pictures.. Enjoy!

Daniel and a premium. Great combo.
Jessy carved a cup and I carved a peace sign.
Fireworks at halftime at THE BANK.
The Pride of Minnesota!

Lovely Mississippi

soooo close to fall break!

The last few weeks have been quite a whirl wind!

This includes...

All-day TILA Saturdays and scramble to finish the philosophy paper.

One IEP meeting per week, at least.

A visit from Amy :)- Wicked, Pike's Peak and Old Pearl St. farmer's market

Lots of long-term planning and making assessments with Amanda, cooped up at my place

2 late night PLCs

An ear infection, snow and a paid paperwork day

Just two more days of students, parent/teacher conferences, and then I am off to Minneapolis for the long, fall break weekend! I cannot wait to see all my friends, old co-workers and go to a football game. I think it will be the much-needed break that I have been waiting for.

Things at school have been crazy, the kids have been so badly behaved that the principal cancelled their Halloween dance. I have had to break up a couple fights, deal with schedule changes and losing a couple teachers on our team. Things are going to get even more crazy I can only imagine, after fall break when the new hires come in and the kids' schedules are finalized.. But, I m feeling like I have a rhythm, and I am able to get work done during the week (when I am not sick). Overall, I feel alright about where I'm at, just looking forward to some relaxation and perspective and FUN and closeness with people back in MN.

That's about it. Hope the fall in other parts has been enjoyable..

C

Thoughts for tonight..

* If you are only supposed to "get" one student, how do you decide which one to "get"?

* How can you validate and affirm one community or culture without negating or ignoring another?

* Is it too optimistic of me to think that the possibilities of my students are NOT limited?

Am I naive to think that I'll make a difference in each student that I teach? Will I even affect one?

I am thinking about D today. I am hoping that he is taken care of and that he comes to school tomorrow.

I am thinking about balance and work ethic.

I am thinking about my family and how much I miss them.

My friends in other places and how I miss the way they compliment who I am. How they fill in the holes that I have right now.

I am thinking about how I can create this 15 page educational philosophical platform after teaching officially for about 6 weeks. Wondering what it is I actually know, where I have to tap into to understand the things that I think I believe. Where does this foundation come from and how can I actually start practicing it?

Hoping I can survive this crazy week and the crazy weeks ahead.

Peace and lots of love.

C

Colorado Fall

As much as I miss the Minneapolis fall, I found some nice things on a walk through my neighborhood this past Sunday...

Glad this western place sees a change of seasons too.

Peace and leaves,

C

**First "why I teach" post **

It came to me within these last two days. Even with complete frustration, solid busy days with IEP meetings and pushing through teaching four classes-- I had my first glimpse of some "why I teach moments" in my days.

2 students. D and B we'll say here.

D is an 8th grader with a learning disability in math. He is one of my highest students in reading and writing but he has difficulties with multiple step problems in math and working with multiple digit numbers. He works very hard and is very well behaved. He is friendly and talks to me a lot about football and about school things. His mom died 3 days after he was born and his dad has been in jail. He is taken care of by his great-grandmother who has suffered from a few strokes, she is 83 years old and not only takes care of D but also some other grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday was D's meeting and we re-evaluated him for his learning disability. After the meeting he disclosed to me privately how he hates how people talk to him and make him feel dumb. Today D wasn't in my 1st period. 5th period he came to me with a "late to school" pass and he told me that he had to take the public bus to the hospital to help his grandma get a blood test, then he had to take the public bus back to his home then the bus back to school, making it by about 11pm. He was obviously very tired and very hungry, he has only been sleeping about 4 hours a night and only eats what he gets for free at school. I took D to the cafeteria during 6th grade lunch and let him eat and sit in my room to "re-charge" for math class. He came into math and took diligent notes, and even after the other aide in the room gave him a hard time for seeming tired, he persisted to work hard and give more effort in math than I have ever seen him give in math before.

My 2nd student, B is also an 8th grader. Very hard to get control of in the classroom. He likes to leave the room when he feels like it, he swears and says vulgar things constantly and cane be very manipulative because he has a charming personality and knows how to win teachers over. B was let onto the school soccer team, but on the conditions that his teachers gave him good reports to the soccer coach throughout the week. Every week, I would remind him that his games were at stake, and it seemed as thought every week something would happen in a class or after school that would keep him from getting a good report. Last week B's sister was suspended for 15 days for having a fight and B wasn't at school the day after that happened. So I talked to the counselor about what was going on with him and she informed me that their mother has a boyfriend who fights with her and is suspected to be abusive to her and possibly them as well. After that day, I talked to B about us working together to keep him IN the room as much as he can, and he agreed that he wanted to stay in and learn but he did not know how to control his anger sometimes so he wanted to leave so he could let it out away from other people. Well, today was the last big soccer game of the year, our team was undefeated and we were playing our biggest rival. I checked in with B all day today to make sure he was in his classes and doing what he needed to do- and sure enough he was. FINALLY on the last game day, he cared enough to stay in all his classes and the coach checked in with me at the end of the day and I gave him the thumbs up to put him in. I stood on the sidelines and watched B play for about 3/4 of the game on defense. While he wasn't the best or the fastest, he was the most passionate one out there, and he kept looking over at me, even though he didn't wave or talk to me after, I knew that he cared that I was there and that I helped him finally get his playing time.

AH... that makes it all worth it. For D to try in math, to get fed, to know he can talk to me. For B to stay in his classes, to tell me that he wants to manage his anger and be able to play soccer.

Little successes make the exhaustion and emotion all worth it.

C

I tried to speak to my students in spanish today. I was successful!

but they thought it was hilarious and they laughed at me.

:) it is fun sometimes...

back in action

Glad I went home for the weekend. I got excellent perspective returning to the place where I came from, visiting a Grayslake school and seeing good friends, having meaningful talks and walks. I am so lucky that though I am so far away, I have such a strong and loyal support system back at home.

Today went alright- I am a bit more organized and I think I am ready to attend my first Individualized Educational Plan meeting for one of my students on Wednesday. His guardian will be there, he will be there, me, my two supervisors, the school nurse, psych and social worker will all be there. So I have to have all of my data, information, etc prepared and ready to talk about my student.

Any tips on working with adults? Working with people is the least controllable aspect of a career - and the funny thing is as I am trying to teach my students how to work together and get along, I am struggling myself to work well with the people at my school and get along with them. When you collect multiple perspectives and experiences, its inevitable that you will have varying opinions and disagreements across the board. But I feel like in this first month of school I have had more argumentative and confrontational meetings and encounters with co-workers than I ever thought I would. This part of education and teaching is stressful, because its grown, educated ADULTS that can't get along- how are we supposed to be expected to teach peace when we can't even practice it ourselves?

When I move on from this, one of my goals is to teach teachers how to get along with other teachers! And how to teach and practice peace in the classroom.

Peace to you, thanks for caring about my thoughts.

C

The honeymoon is over...

that's what all of the teachers at Noel have been saying. Discipline issues are getting worse, but the class size got smaller and students are finally where they need to be academically.

While things are going up and down, I feel lucky that I have a good group of teachers at my school who listen and give great advice. Nothing has gotten too out of control yet, I am starting to get more in depth with my lesson plans, and while my students are low, I have a clearer picture of the potential they have and the progress we can make this year.

A big thing I learned today from a fellow new teacher is that the first year of teaching is hard because we come from college where we work very hard and get good results. The grades we got were a direct reflection of the work we put into school. And now I am working very hard and not getting the same kind of good results - I am not used to this kind of failure over and over. There are so many things that we cannot control as teachers- we cannot control how the students come in every day or how they are going to behave, how they learn. The things that we can control are being planned and being positive. soo this is what we can try to focus on and not get hung up on the things we can't control. (or in TFA-speak, what is in our locus of control!)

Tomorrow I'm going home for the weekend, I am missing a professional development but I am anxious to sit on my parents couch with the cat in front of the big tv. Mental health and balance are so important to find in these weeks that seem to fly by! I have been putting in so many extra hours to do paperwork for special ed. I think the breaks are necessary and need to be WITHOUT school work..

Peace-

C

I love living out here, my friends, all the things I am learning about teaching, living independently, meeting new people and trying new things. I truly truly do.

And I am grateful for my job, my apartment, my car, my food, all the things and people I have that support me in what I am doing out here.

But I think I know why this is hard.

Teaching seems to be natural to me. However, teaching in this environment, in these conditions with these types of students is not easy. And things not being seamless and easy is not something that I am used to. I have been used to working hard and getting instant gratification and pay off. Routines of easy and satisfying work and comments and feedback. I had challenges in high school and college, but not of this size.

I am getting pulled in so many directions- to my licensure program and classes, to TFA, to my middle school, to my individual departments, to my friends here, at home and in Minnesota, to my family to myself, to my students. I have to worry about balancing all of these things on top of taking good care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I am struggling to persist in making healthy and good choices for me as well as for my students without sacrificing my happiness in that pursuit.

Living alone makes these challenges even more evident.

BUT I CAN DO THIS.

I have so many people in my life and reasons to keep pushing through every day. My students need me, my community needs me, I NEED ME to get through it and to do it to the best of my capabilities. I am thankful for the education I had. Now it is my responsibility to make my students feel thankful for their middle school education.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

Sick day

Welp, the swine flu hit Noel Middle School. And since I haven't felt too well in the last week, I decided to take tomorrow to get better and get organized.

The students have benchmark exams which they hate- and so they were acting up today once again. The second day of the week is tough for them.. But I have gotten SO much valuable advice from wonderful people at my school and not at my school. I have a plan and I have been affirmed that I DO know what I am doing, that I am doing well I just need to be more consistent and firm with them. I have good relationships with them now which is something you can't fake, and I am myself in the classroom. But my class is too large and it takes way too long to get back on track.

So I am taking tomorrow to catch up on sleep and vitamin C and get some of my Unit Plan as well as TILA work done. A few people have given me the advice that I need to just NOT do anything related to school but I think I really need to be away from it for a day to appreciate it and get the work done NOW so I can be caught up and not doing SO much work every night when I get home.

Peace and no more swine flu-

C

Trust/Forgiveness

Today was crazy/awful/learning experience.

My 8th grade students don't have awareness of their behavior outside my room, and I realized that their respect for me dwells some where between how they respect their friend, and how they respect the "retarded class" teacher. All of this created a very rowdy and unruly group as we went down the hall to get pictures taken for picture day. It was embarassing- parent volunteers not even able to keep them quiet and lined up, other teachers stopping them in the hall and speaking with them. They could not keep it together.

I had to leave my class for about 3 minutes to collect a student who had been in trouble with another teacher. When I came back to my class of 17 8th graders after having their picture taken and needing to change back to their uniforms, not wanting to change back, etc... my room was absolutely destroyed. Papers, desks, chairs, pencils, every where. After I cleaned up my room, I noticed some things missing from my desk- just little supplies and CDs and things.. however, the principle was that someone had taken things from my desk. Things belonging to me.

Not only does this disrespect me and my classroom but it shuts down the hope that I could leave my classroom door open, that I could leave things unlocked and available. No longer do I trust my students, and it makes me sad because I started off assuming all good intentions of every single one of them, and now because I don't know exactly who it was, all of them have to suffer my room shutting down.

I want to hope that once again I will have trust in them. We have to cross some hurdles together though. First, we cannot have a stigma on my class as the retarded class, or me as the retarded class teacher. The students in my class scored low on the CSAP and that is why the principal placed them in my class. I am teacher who helps, encourages AND disciplines as well, and all of that needs to be fully understood. Second, respect HAS to be established in the class and out of it. If any other day is like today, I will probably fly off the handle. Lastly, trust. 8th graders should know how to keep their things to themselves and leave other people's things alone. I don't know how to express this any more directly. I want to be a friend, a supporter, but I am deeply disappointed and unsure of when/how they can prove that they are trustworthy.

EXHALE.. That is my practice speech sort of, for tomorrow morning. It has been a long day of talking to a handful of wonderful friends, teachers in my school including my principal, family members and other students. All of whom make me feel like I can do this, that I can establish trust and respect in my class. No one could have prepared me for these weekly "come to jesus" discussions I have to have with my 8th graders. I don't want my teaching and their learning to suffer any more. And that is the bottom line. In order to succeed academically, things have to change.

Thank you to my own supporters, helping me to become a better supporter. I couldn't do any of this on my own.

Cannot wait until Friday. Then hopefully 2 weeks after that a mental health trip back home..

Peace and RESPECT.

C

I am surviving!

Teaching is exhausting!

I have put in many many hours before and after school planning, meeting, assessing, grading, disciplining, counseling, and I am only just finishing up my second week!

I love it, I am just a little overwhelmed at this point. I assessed all my students this week, so I know where they need to go academically, now it is just up to me to come up with good, comprehensive, interesting lesson plans for all of them. Lesson plans that are differentiated enough for all the levels of learners in my class to be successful and to be learning something. We have somewhat of a routine down for each class, I am still figuring out who needs to sit where to get along with who, etc. Discipline is not my best attribute, but I am trying to be harder now than later. There were already a few scuffles this week that I had to work out, but I think things can only get better...

On top of teaching and lesson planning, I have had TFA and TILA classes this week. This is my teaching license class and professional development through TFA. Having these in the evenings makes for LONG days... but, since it is just beginning, I am getting into a good routine where I feel good. Some musts are: yoga, going to bed by 11 every night and making one phone call to a friend or family member a day. Hopefully this weekend I can do some socializing, something fun instead of just school work...

Thanks for all the love and support in these first few days.. .I'm doing well. :)

C

Here's a sneak peek of my classroom... still need more student work up..

Exhausted. whew.

First weekend of the school year and I am wiped out! I spent my Saturday cleaning my apartment and trying to get my life a little more organized before the school year kicks off into a whirlwind.

The first three days were great! I love my students, and I think they like me- they may think I am crazy because I made them move the desks and move around the room on the first day, but I was excited to start off by using "ice breaker" theatre activities to get to know each other. I have the same 17 8th graders 1st and 5th period, then I help them in their math class, and then 8th and 9th period I have about 20 6th graders in each of those classes. They are spectacular, excited to be at school and I am excited to teach them and get to know them better.

Middle school students are so funny in the things they talk about and care about. And there is a HUGE difference between 6th graders and graders, socially, developmentally, etc. Unfortunately some of my 6th graders are at higher reading levels then my 8th graders. . . I gave spelling and fluency tests to all of them on Friday and just looking over them I can see that there is a lot of work to do.

Teaching is going to be challenging in a lot of ways. In top of lesson planning, making copies, etc for class every day, there are tons of meetings, IEP meetings, meetings with other teachers, planning, etc. On top of even that, I have my graduate class every Thursday evening, homework for that class, TFA obligations, and trying to keep together a social life. I went to the Rockies game last night with Jeff and Mike who were visiting and another friend from high school. There were TFA people out too, and we went out to the bars last night. Today I have been just exhausted so tomorrow I have grand plans to sit at the laundromat all day and get papers graded and myself super organized for the week ahead.

That's it! Stay tuned.......

C

Finally the big day!

After all the weeks of prep, tomorrow I get 6th graders! (I think!)

It has been an intense week, but I have settled into Rachel B. Noel Middle School, sort of found my way around and also met a lot of the staff at the school. So far, so good. I am very busy and have a lot on my plate between teaching 4 sections of literacy for 6th and 8th graders, and then going into 2 sections of math to support as an inclusion teacher. Many of the other teachers have been very helpful and given me posters and supplies for my classroom. I will take and post pictures tomorrow- today I was at school until the principal left! So I have been putting a lot of time in, but I want to be prepared! And even though I don't feel quite ready, I think seeing the students and getting them into the school, things will all feel mush more natural and exciting. . .

Otherwise, I have been having some fun and doing other things. I started my licensure program last weekend- it is called TILA and I will go every Thursday night and one Saturday a month. It seems like it won't be too difficult and pretty comprehensive, helpful towards my teaching and working in a school. I've also attended many trainings for the the district and school. Otherwise, last weekend some girls and I found some fun bars near my apartment, and then on Saturday I went out to Breckenridge to the Eriksson family's condo out there. We went on a big hike on Sunday and then enjoyed the hot tub they have at their complex and it was just the escape I needed for the day.. Jeff and Mike are coming back on Friday to go to the Rockies game and go out in Denver. It's so nice to see friends from home!

Wish me something- here goes to teaching!!!

Peace-

C

Almost there update!

In the last few weeks I've been in and out of trainings and meetings. This week is my first official, paid week. I have sped trainings and I will be going to my school every day. Things are going well, I think? I haven't really gotten too much information yet about exactly what my day/schedule is going to look like, but I have met some people, seen my classroom and gotten myself somewhat organized. That's about all on the teaching front!

Otherwise, I have been enjoying Denver on a cheap budget. We got cheap seats for the Cubs/Rockies game this past Saturday and Sunday and had a lot of fun at Coors Field. Also I have been to Red Rocks to see the film on the rocks- the first week was Indiana Jones and the second week was Ghostbusters (ironically enough because they say that Red Rocks is haunted!) I am enjoying living out here so far, but I think I will be much happier once I get into a normal routine of going to work, coming home, repeat. I had a fun breakfast party for some friends at my apartment last week and also went hiking again last weekend at Golden Gate Canyon park. I also joined a yoga studio close to my apartment, and I am really enjoying going to classes as much as I can to relax and stay in shape. I am loving the teacher friends I have out here and I am looking forward to having some visitors come this fall.

I started a new blog that has more things that I am interested in, pictures, links, teaching things, it is a bit easier to use and upload things onto- so if you are interested here is my tumblr link. Feel free to check it out, I may update that more than this one because this one requires more typing and time! (which I am going to run out of here shortly.. ) Enjoy!

http://sweeetcaroline16.tumblr.com/

Peace-

C

Summer break is over, ;(

I had the last 10 days about with no obligations so I made the most of it!

I explored my neighborhood, Denver's shopping, markets, library, theatre scene, art museum, etc. Last Wednesday I went to Boulder with my friends on a hiking trip up ECAR where we hiked to what we called "Pride Rock" and enjoyed a beautiful view of Boulder and surrounding areas. Thursday I met my other sped teachers at Noel and found out I'll be teaching 8th grade and supporting reading and math. Then I drove out to Basalt, CO where Jake and Kellie Gilliland had been working and invited me out to "luxury camp" with them. Friday I went hiking with Jake and his friend Ben from college, we hiked the Maroon Bells in Aspen/Snowmass area. This was scary! But absolutely beautiful and totally worth the breathing difficulties and rock sliding we did. I had an amazing time. Saturday my friends from Minnesota were here, Andy, Rob, etc. and I met up with them at the Coors Brewery in Golden, CO. Then they came up to Denver and I took them for burgers at City Grille then to Gov's Park where we racked up a good bill of drinks. It was so nice to see them and show them my new city. 

Now I am off to Denver Public Schools Orientation and more TFA orientations next week. It's getting real! I am excited and tonight I am going to see a movie at Red Rocks with my other teacher friends from Noel. Things are good, I'm trying to stay busy and trying new things every day. I miss my family who are all in Michigan on vacation right now, but I am glad I made the most of my time off and am learning more and more about Denver. 

Lots of love, 

C

I'm finally here!

After a long week of flying, driving, moving things, lifting things and unpacking, I am finally settled in my apartment in Denver and getting acquainted with my new city! 

I left Atlanta LAST Saturday to go home to Grayslake for a short time, then my dad and I drove to Minneapolis that Sunday to pick up the rest of my stuff and a Penske moving van. I said more good byes to my room mates and my good friends up there, then Monday morning, we drove for 13 hours straight until we got to Sterling, CO. The next morning we drove 2 more hours to make it into Denver and move all of my stuff up three flights of stairs to my apartment. I'm so glad my dad survived! The altitude and heat made the move pretty intense, but it was so rewarding once it was all done. Wednesday we unpacked and got things arranged and then drove to Boulder for the afternoon, which was fun. My dad left on Thursday, and I had meetings with Teach for America that afternoon as well as Friday. 

This weekend I have just continued to unpack and get my apartment how I want it. It is very cute and it is within walking distance of the capitol, and of many cute neighborhood bars, restaurants, markets, etc. I love it, I have been exploring a little bit, hanging out with friends and today I drove down to Colorado Springs to visit Katie and I got to see the beautiful rocks at the Garden of the Gods. I am constantly in awe of how breathtaking the scenery is here all the time, and I am barely used to seeing the mountains every day I am here. It is great. This week I don't have many meetings, just errands and finishing up plans I need to take care of. I plan on visiting the art museum, the public library and the performing arts center- I have a ticket to see a play there on Sunday, which I am excited for. . 

Overall, things are good! I'll post a few pictures of my apartment and CO Springs. I am happy and going to enjoy this week of time off before I get really busy with training, orientations and preparing for my first day of school, a week from today- August 19th! 

I hope everyone comes out to visit me so I can show you all my new home. :) 

Love from out west, 

C

Done with Institute.. woop

Jalisa making ice cream 

I'll post more pictures of my students, this one is from last Thursday when Zack did his lesson on teaching technical directions and the kids made ice cream in bags. 

This past Thursday, I helped the math teachers do a graphing lines pirate scavenger hunt, which was a lot of fun. I got to be the "captain" and pass out the clues and problems to them..

Our students tested this past Tuesday and Wednesday and after that day very few of them came for the remainder of summer school. We won't know if they passed their test yet but I gave all of them my contact information to let me know if they passed. We also got all of their reading scores back, and they all reached their goals of improving 6 points on the DRA. That means they all moved up at least one grade level in reading this summer from where they started. I am very proud of them and I think they will all do very well in high school. It was hard to say good bye to them, they were excellent and helped me learn so much about teaching.. 

We had closing ceremonies last night and good-byes, slideshows, etc. today. I had to say good bye to a lot of the corps members from other places like St. Louis, Indianapolis, Miami, Atlanta... and also all of the staff we have been working with. Overall, I am relieved that institute is over. I am ready to move forward with my own students and take on all of the challenges that specifically special ed. will bring me. I am also ready to live back out in the "real world" and start my life out in Colorado. It has been a good experience out here, I have learned A TON and made many meaningful connections, but I think having this kind of stress done and out of the way, I will be much more happier and more myself. 

Flying back to Chicago in the am, then driving to Minneapolis on Sunday to collect my things, furniture, etc. Then on Monday my dad and I will start the drive out to Denver with the beetle and a truck of my stuff. It is going to be and adventure! 

Peace and happy summer things I hope you are all doing, 

C

Back to the grind

I spent Thursday night through Sunday evening in Minneapolis and had a wonderful time. I got to see all the great people I wanted to see, even got to see my friends' band play, go to the Taste of Minnesota and have cheese curds and a Grain Belt and see Elvis Costello perform before great fireworks. It was a much-needed, relaxing weekend and I was quite sad to leave. 

But now I'm back in Atlanta for just a few more days.. This week should be pretty laid back though- we have sessions all week and more meetings and workshops in the evening, but my teaching is pretty much done. I taught my last formal lesson plan today and was observed, because my students take their big test tomorrow. I gave a good lesson today and actually gave all of my students my cell phone number so that they can call me when they get the results of their tests. I know that they will all pass, but I want to hold them accountable for letting me know that they passed and hopefully they will call and me proud to say so. 

Tonight I took time out to go see a movie with some people and tomorrow is Katie's 22nd birthday so we may go out and get drinks since things are more laid back now. 

I am also mentally preparing to have a quick turn around at home on Saturday then going back up to Minnesota on Sunday to pack up then down to Denver with my dad on Monday to move in on Tuesday. One more week until I am officially living in Colorado. It is very exciting but I am also nervous about making the big move. I had such a fun weekend and had some doubts and thoughts while I was up there that maybe I should have stayed, things are so good up there, I love it so much and there are so many important people there.. But when I got back here today and saw the kids, I realized that though it will be tough, that this job is important for me to do and that I will do and I want to do it.  There are people counting on me and children's lives who I will hopefully make an impact on. There are going to be challenges ahead, but I am feeling more and more confident about my direction in this, it just takes some deep breathes, a few tears now and then, but then it's back out there and doing good work. 

That's all for now- excited that this is the last week, woo hoo! No more dorm food and little tiny bed. :) 

Peace- 

C

Quick update- good week!

I'm done teaching for the week, and overall I have been really happy about how things went. 

Monday was a bit strange because when we got to Parks in the morning, we found that it had been broken into over the weekend. All of the computer projectors had been stolen, there was graffitti and urine all over the school, and our candy jar was stolen from our classroom. :( This threw all of us off  a but, but I had the students watch the Thriller video and they were very excited about it and did well on their cause and effect assessment. Even though we couldn't watch it on the screen, we huddled around my computer, and they got a kick out of it. My advisor observed me that day and she only had good things to say the next day when we had our de-brief. Today I did a lesson where they had to apply for their dream job on a real job application. This brought up interesting questions about high school, the real world, jobs, etc. things that I think these kids needed and wanted to discuss. The only bad thing that came up today was one of my students used and called another student the "n word" and then proceeded to give him the middle finger. This led to me having a conversation with the class about the implications and disrespect that the n word carries and how I do not allow it in my class for those reasons.  I feel like having this conversation was more productive than actually chastising the student outrightly for using it, especially because it was used very casually but it was done right in front of me. 

Tomorrow evening I am flying up to Minneapolis for my semi-long weekend. I am so excited to see friends and get away from TFA for a bit. Vacation is so much more gratifying when you have lots of work that you can put off in the mean time!

Lots of love and happy 4th of July!

C

Weekend in HOTlanta

So things have definitely improved since last post... Wednesday I brought in a fabulous book of teenage poetry for my lit circle girls, and they loved it.. major attitude improvements and interest in the material. Then Thursday when I had to teach, I prepared a highly interactive lesson teaching text features and I wrote an essay on the history of hip hop which they ate up and had to identify the different text features in... I felt MUCH better, and even though no one was observing me during those classes, I know what I need to do now to cater to these students. Friday I wrote them all individual notes affirming them on their progress this week and encouraging them to stay engaged and ensuring that they will pass the test if they keep it up. I feel like I got through to them a bit better and I know where and how I can improve my teaching this summer.. 

Otherwise, last night a big group of us from the CO corps when to the Red Sox/Braves game at Turner Field. VERY hot but a lot of fun- there was a fireworks show afterwards, and we had a fun time dancing in the stands. Today I took a really great run/walk around the GA Tech campus, then I went to the Coca-Cola museum with some girls and to The Varsity- a famous diner here in Atlanta where the workers yell at you "What'll ya have?" and they serve wonderfully greasy and unhealthy burgers, onion rings, etc. 

Tonight there is free cover for TFA-ers at a club called Opera, so we are going because it is tribute to Michael Jackson night as well.. so I am going to release a bit and get my dance on. Tomorrow I will get prepared for Monday and the rest of the week so I can be free of lesson -planning during my mini-vacation to the Mini-apple for the 4th. :) 

Peace- (and thank goodness for air conditioning and MJ dance music) 

C

Rough day

I am pasting an e-mail I wrote Nora Bowers today for the sake of not having to type it all up again- so sorry if something doesn't make sense. 

Thank goodness it is TFA (totally free afternoon) day, for my own sanity!

Hi Nora,

Thanks for your letter and encouragement. When I get home tonight, I  
will definitely curl up and look at it all again as I re-evaluate what  
I am doing here because it has been one of those days. Today was the  
first really bad day- close to tears, why am I doing this? am I cut  
out to be a teacher day.

First of all, there were 7 student there today, the most we have had.  
The kids came in this morning and I had a fun review game planned,  
started out a bit rough but they got to enjoying it and showed me that  
they DID retain some things. So that moment of the day was the only  
positive that I can come away with.

Then the administration of like 5 teachers bursted into our room and  
asked to search all the students for their cell phones, so the  
students were taken off guard  and shaken up a bit.

Then we transitioned into Lit circles, and I have been sharing with  
the girls in the class, stories about the freedom fighters, asking  
them questions about the rights they have now versus the rights these  
women didn't have back in the day.  The girls were NOT interested in  
reading, talking, understanding anything. So I asked them to write to  
me what they want to read about and what they are interested in, and  
they didn't really have any feedback, they were just tired and resigned.

THEN we transitioned into the reading hour, and the whole class  
period, all but 2 of the students were resting their heads on their  
desks, tired, unresponsive. It was terrible because I had given them  
an intense writing assignment because their writing has been so poor-  
I have been pushing them to write more like high schoolers, in  
complete sentences with detailed ideas, and it took them each about 5  
minutes to get motivated to even start the writing. Then my advisor  
came in to observe me, of course in the last half hour of class when  
my students were actually sleeping and not even responding to my  
individual attempts to motivate them and get them redirected and back  
into the class. I had to speak to them at the end to tell them what I  
expect of them and how I come to class prepared (after scrambling this  
morning after copies I had outsourced were not in my mailbox, I WAS  
prepared for them) and how I expect them to get enough sleep at night  
so that THEY are prepared for class. That they made a choice to be  
here every day, they failed the test so that they need to take  
responsibility for their education that I am giving them so that they  
can go to high school.

After they left the class, I felt the tears about to come up, my  
advisor told me to breathe and told me what she would have done, but  
what I had done was done. Although today was extremely hard, I am not  
discouraged, I am just realizing the simple things that my students  
are not getting, and while I DO believe in them, it is easy to think  
that they don't care enough to get enough sleep at night.

The good news is, we are being released from institute early today- we  
get a half day off to go back and relax which is GREAT. I am going to  
read your note again and think about things. Evaluate my teaching and  
my approach to my students. This isn't easy but I am learning and  
hopefully the next good day outweighs this awful day.

Sorry to send a gloomy note, but I hope you are really well and thanks  
a lot for your encouragement. It means more to me than you'll ever know.

Peace,
C

Weekend in Denver

So I finished my first week of teaching and immediately took off for Denver- I flew in Friday night, took a state-mandatory special ed. test on Saturday morning, signed a lease for an apartment downtown Denver, and then flew back to Atlanta on Sunday. I think I'm now a bonafide jet-setter!

Friday's class was a bit of a struggle for me, I did not plan enough and so we had extra time and being a Friday, the kids were restless and definitely testing me. I was really happy to be on a place and relaxed after school got out on Friday, and was lucky enough to meet some other sped. friends at the airport that night who had to take the test, and my friend Jack's mom picked us up and we stayed with him all weekend. His boyfriend Rob had made their little apartment all cozy for us, made beds all over the floor, got us a ton of breakfast food, and even arranged rides for us back to the airport on Sunday- it was so amazingly relaxing! And very very needed after an intense week of teaching and institute. 

So I took the test at 8am on Saturday, think it went well, then we indulged in some Chipotle (originated in Colorado!) and then my friend Katie went with me to check out the apartment I had been thinking about. An 07 corps memeber, Martha, whose job I actually took at Rachel B. Noel, is now moving in with her boyfriend and so she had her apartment info on the TFA net. So I went to catch up with her about the new job, and also she was a theatre major in college and went to grad school for drama therapy AND she is from Morris, MN!! So she and I have a lot in common and the apartment just felt right. It is a studio, very small, but has a mountain view from the bedroom. It's two blocks from the capitol, very close to many places to eat and grocery shop, yoga, all the things I need. It is going to be great- I signed the lease and I'm moving in on July 14th!

Katie and I just explored the city the rest of the day- 16th street mall and cheeseman park neighborhood. We had dinner and drinks (above) in a cute area called Governor's Park, and had amazing burgers and happy hour specials. We got a nice early bed time that night and slept in- and flew back to ATL. Now I am just preparing for the week ahead. The good thing is this week I am only teaching Tuesday and Thursday, and I will now only teach two days a week since we have a long weekend on the 4th. It will be good, I just need to be a bit more over-planned for this week so my students are getting the full two hours to get ready for their test. 

That is all, it was a lovely weekend and I cannot wait to get back to Colorado. It will be such a great place to live, work and play. ;) 

Peace-  

C

First day of teaching!

Taking a brief moment to catch the blog back up to speed- 

Saturday I had to take the Praxis II test which for me was just elementary general content- it wasn't too hard, but you can get a lot wrong and still pass, so I am just crossing my fingers that my two night cram sessions will be enough to get me to pass. So that was an early morning wake-up call on my Saturday, so I rested most of the day. Then the Colorado corps decided to have a little dorm party before going out to some fun bars in Atlanta's highlands. (there are also highlands in Denver, that are actually highlands...) it was a lot of fun and a great chance to meet more people and bond with the CO corps (the best corps!) 

Sunday was a work day,  very productive for me and my group to get ready for the first day today. I have the same students as three other teachers, one other reading teacher that I switch every other day teaching in the AM with, the two math teachers that rotate teaching in the afternoons. Zack (Mr. Greenamyre) is my collab. teacher, he is from the Atlanta corps, and so we switch even and odd days that we teach the reading lesson for the day. Then Sarah (Ms. Burns) from the NYC corps and Doug (Mr. Ely) from the St. Louis corps, they team teach in the afternoon. Kind of complicated, but a very fun and easy-going group to work with in terms of setting up class rules and procedures. 

So today went well, I was the first teacher up to teach and I did a lesson on genre-identification. (Fiction, non-fiction, historical fiction, science fiction, etc.) The worst part about the day was that out of the 13 students on our roster, we only had 4 come to class. The 4 students were engaged and seem to follow along in my lesson very well. But it was a very frustrating reality to face - that on the very first day we had attendance issues with 9 of our students. . . I am realizing that coming to school in the summer in the first place is a giant step in the right direction for these 4 students and I am going to do my best to help them pass the CRCT and get into high school, but it is frustrating the amount of work I am putting into lesson planning for the weeks and days to come and that I only have 4 students to plan for for 3-9 hours a week. 

Deep breaths, and breaks to talk with family and friends are good things to help me get through my frustrated moments. I am coming down with a cold too so I need to take care of myself so that I can be a good teacher and have the energy I need through the day. This is HARD WORK, but I am determined and very focused on the task ahead. People here are so supportive and make such good surrounding role models, it is a very great environment to be in when you are stressed or doubt your capability to be a teacher. 

That's it really. I am going to Denver on Friday to take another test on Saturday morning- PLACE test for special ed in Colorado. I will be looking at the studio apartment in Capitol Hill that I am seriously thinking about renting from a previous corps member whose job I am actually taking over at Noel M.S. so that is an exciting progression I am making!

Lots of love and positive summer time thoughts to all- 

Peace, 

C

I'm in ATL!

So busy, haven't had time to blog about ATL. ..

Got here Sunday, the facilities are very nice, Georgia Tech campus is cut off from the rest of the city, so it is beautiful and secluded. The dining hall is high-class, much more sophisticated than even the Sanford Hall dining hall at the U. I have my own room but I share a suite with another girl who went to Minnesota and two other girls from the Colorado corps. 

So the Parks Middle School bus, my bus, leaves campus at 6:35, so the mornings are rough. Although there are TFA staffers playing music and cheering us on as we drudge to breakfast, it is still dark out and none of us go to bed early. But Parks is a cool place- there are about 70 out of the 500 here that go to Parks every day. Our job is to help 7th and 8th graders pass their CRCT's so that they can pass to the next grade. I got assigned to an 8th grade class and I am co-teaching reading with another corps member from Atlanta named Zack. So basically every day we go to Parks from 7am until 5pm and we attend sessions that teach us how to be teachers in a very intense and condensed form. It is very interesting and the instructors are great, but it all comes at us very fast. I feel confident in the material, and lesson planning and talking about classroom management and investment in education all comes very natural to me, so that is good. It's the waking up early and eating well, working out, and getting every thing done on time that I am struggling a bit with. 5:30 comes way too soon and it seems like my body just doesn't want to go to bed until the late late hours. 

So overall, institute is hard but I think it is going to really help me become a great teacher. I am able to do some socializing at meal times but otherwise it is very focused on getting things done and turned in so it can be reviewed. We will officially start in the classroom on Monday, and I am very excited because I am going first in the rotation, and the students that I met with yesterday REALLY need our help. We assessed them for their reading levels and as will-be 9th graders, right now they are reading as low 6th graders. I can clearly see now why I am here and the work that has to be done. I am eager to begin pushing these students and help them pass the test!

Miss everyone from home- please e-mail me and tell me how you are and what you are up to this summer '09. 

Peace- 

C

Pics from the art fair in Denver and from Lime - a cute trendy Mexican restaurant in Denver where I had those lime salutes with some of my friends. 

I am in Atlanta now, internet is sketchy and only hooks up in my living room. Hopefully that gets fixed- I have to go to bed early because I am getting picked up to go to my school at 6:30 tomorrow morning! 

Peace- 

C

Hired!

So yesterday was a crazy day- I had to go to the Denver Public Schools job fair just to get a call for an interview at a school I had really wanted to work at. My placement advisor had worked at this school and put a good word in for me so I got a ride from my good friend Emily out to the school, which is in Denver but out by the airport, and I walked in and talked to the principal and got offered the job on the spot. It was so relieving and exciting- the school is Rachel B. Noel Middle School in Denver and I will be a 6-8 grade learning specialist. They work on inclusion model and pull-outs, so I will be helping a number of students in different ways. I am so happy and grateful to Martha, my placement advisor. She really helped me a lot- she was a theatre major in college and she is interested in using drama and art for special ed. and so we connected in that way. 

Today has been closing ceremonies, finishing up business in Denver. I looked at two houses today but I haven't felt too right about anything just yet. It may be a matter of waiting until my other friends get job placements until I make a final decision about a place to live. I am very tired so I am just going to relax and get ready to go to Institute. I fly out tomorrow morning but we are getting picked up at 4:30am. . . eesh. 

Miss everyone at home- this week has FLOWN by. 

I'll keep you posted on how things are in HOT lanta! woop. 

C

Day 3 in Denver

I am here! I made it but I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to really be by myself or take a break to blog. But things have been going really really well. 

The first day I got off too a little bit of a late start, but I made it to O'Hare on time and when I sat down at my gate I met a girl right away from Michigan flying out to Denver for TFA. So that was great, and when we got to the airport, I met several other nice people on the car ride to Campus Village, where I am staying. Met two of my room mates, one named Caroline who is fabulous and a lot of fun- we ended up inviting everyone to the 'Caroline's dorm' later that night to talk and get to know each other. That evening there was an opening dinner for us all, and the Lt. Gov. of Colorado Barbara O'Brian spoke to us about the impact we will make on Colorado public schools. It was very inspiring and I felt really honored to be a part of such an important and powerful group. 

The second day was long, a lot of sessions and lectures about the program. That night we went out to dinner with TFA alumni in the area- had dinner at a restaurant on 16th street mall which is the area where all the places to eat and drink are. Then some of the older corps members invited all of us to Wynkoop Brewery, and TFA pretty much took up the entire upstairs bar. It was a lot of fun, everyone is great and helpful. 

Today, the third day, was a bit more special ed. specific. We got an introduction to our separate licensure program, and we all got to know each other a bit better. There are 16 corps members that are teaching special ed., and I love all of them. They are all amazing and I feel so lucky to go through this with them by my side. The afternoon we had a safety lecture and then we got more info about neighborhoods where corps members live. My friend Emily is from Denver, so she took me and two other girls on a little driving tour of the city and showed us where she lives and where she would recommend living. I am considering living with my friend Katie, who is actually from Waukegan, IL so we talked about different locations- but there really are no bad areas to live in this city. I am waiting to see where I get placed for a job, but the good news is I have an interview TOMORROW with Denver Public Schools- so hopefully I get placed tomorrow so I can make a decision about housing... Tonight we had dinner with present corps members, and they were so hilarious. They had a beautiful apartment with a balcony that had an amazing view of the city (pics posted). We had pizza and talked for a long time, then we went to Breckenridge Brewery for more meeting people and talking.. Lots of breweries here!

So things have gotten off to a great start- I am learning more and more about Denver, getting to see the mountains today was exciting and all the places we saw today look like nice places to live. I can't say enough how great the people are- everyone is so smart, has so many different experiences and is SO nice. I was most nervous about not fitting in with people here, but I truly feel like I will be making some really amazing friends within this experience. 

Stay tuned about the job interview tomorrow- I am crossing my fingers!

C 

Yikes!

I am leaving tomorrow for Denver for Induction week- getting oriented around the city, meeting the corps out there, and doing a lot of paper work, learning things, etc. Sunday I will fly out to Atlanta for my 5 week summer institute. It has all happened so fast! I am extremely excited but extremely nervous. This week at home has been wonderful but has gone by very fast. I am so lucky to have so many friends and family here and other places who support me and have given me the confidence and love I have needed to get this far. 

We will see how things go! I don't know what to expect, but I am excited and prepared to soak everything in.. Stay tuned. 

C

One more week!

Fresh blog for the next chapter- it's cool if you are following along. 

I am at home in Grayslake for a week before I head off to Denver next Tuesday to begin Induction for Teach for America Colorado. I am just getting all of my paperwork sorted out, doctors appointments, packing, etc. I don't have a teaching position secured yet in Denver, so I am still applying and checking in on principals' progresses. I have about 7 applications pending right now, so it's just more waiting and preparing for tests and institute. 

 I left Minneapolis yesterday a bit unwillingly, but I feel it in my bones that I will be back there some day. The last 2 weeks were incredible, I had so much fun and left the cities with a lot of love and great memories. 

Stay tuned, I will post here about my experience in TFA, Institute this summer in Atlanta and the beginning of my teaching experience out in Denver.