r.c.- "Miss, are you white?"

TRYING to make worthwhile conversations out of comments like this and other 'learning opportunities.'

Feeling like a failure most of the time.

but when that little kiddo shows me what he knows in math, I feel good. I feel like I helped him with that algebra. Who would have imagined?

Is it bad that I am already looking at grad school applications and I am barely keeping up with my teaching licensure class right now?

So far in contention are....

University of Texas at Austin

UC Berkeley

CUNY

Arizona State

Northwestern

I should be spending more time on "continuously increasing my effectiveness" as a teacher RIGHT NOW in DPS!! But instead my mind is wandering to the future.

Lots of stress from administration on us to get our kiddos prepared for the CSAP (standardized test in Colorado coming up in March). Historically, our school has done very poorly and we are in danger of being shut down if we don't do better this year. While I care about Noel's reputation and achievement, it is difficult for me to get my students invested in data and in difficult test questions. They don't see the importance of it, and quite honestly, to me the test seems tailored to students that are learning things that my students may never be able to comprehend. (not students that come from our demographics at Noel, and certainly not sped students) It is a battle but it is one that I feel I just have to succumb to and try my best to make other people happy, while the wrath of my students' frustration about the inaccessibility of this test gets taken out on me.. :(

Things that make me smile as of lately:

upcoming visits from friends from college and high school

a new paddle plant I have brought to liven up my classroom

my new car, Rosita and her CO license plates

my amazing friend Joanna Polacek

keeping myself healthy by:

trying yoga at 24 hour fitness

running on the treadmill (in the high altitude! hell yeah!)

considering myself a new vegetarian :)

only staying late at school 2 nights a week

talking to good friends on the phone at least one night a week

keeping it all in check,

C

"Miss, how did God die? How was God born?"

I don't know, that's a very deep question.

"We don't know how Don King was born! We just know he came out and said, God Bless America!"

words that start with "ex" (in the 6th grade)

ex - plain

ex - pect

ex- it

ex-poop

what is ex-poop? that's not a word?

l.g. - "yes it is! It's when a dog poops out like an X."

ex -quisite.

awesome! what does exquisite mean?

j.h. - "it's when you ex and then you quiz it."

:) if everything else sucks, those quotes of the day do not suck.

Back in Denver, happy, healthy and survived the first week back (barely).

Quick update:

-Lots to do! Came back to a dirty apartment and tons of laundry so I felt much better after I got super domestic and cleaned, cooked, washed clothes and organized my Denver life!

-New car is coming in a week! While I was home, my dad helped me out to pick out a red, used Ford Escape that I am going to pay for and title all by myself! He's driving out here this weekend. Very adult decision and commitment, and while I am sad to say good bye to the little yellow beetle, I'm excited to have a new set of wheels to drive out to the mountains in!

-Joined 24 hour Fitness and quit Corepower yoga: less expensive and more options for working out. I like it a lot so far, and already went to a kickboxing class on Tuesday that I think I'll continue going to to relieve stress and get out my frustration! Also have been cooking and eating mostly vegetarian since I've been back. Small but certain steps to stay healthy and heath-conscious. . .

-Skiied at Breckenridge with a bunch of friends on Saturday and tackled moguls! The upcoming Olympics are getting me inspired to push myself out there.. It was scary but awesome. I am really loving the skiing and have lots of plans in the upcoming months to go out skiing as much as possible with friends here and people coming in to visit me.

School -ish things:

-Lots of IEP meetings for January

-Several new students either in my class or on my caseload that I've had to observe or work with, my classroom is changing quite a bit.

-Re-structuring my 6th grade class, new plan, going to be great.

-Tough meetings with students coming back to public school from treatment centers.

-Tough student with mental illness who I have taken on as the designated consultant for the intervention process. (long words to say that I am responsible for her and for getting her the help she needs, which is something I really don't know)

Nothing prepares you for this kind of work. No one tells you how deeply involved you become. I am hanging in there and I will do my best! I think that all of this is meant to teach me, mold me and guide me to something and when I get there, I'll know why I've overcome all these challenges.

Until then, lots of deep breathes.

Lots of love,

C