a second from my soap box

Excited to share some upcoming transitions in the life of this drama teacher...

Most recent news, my man and I found a quaint little, but newly remodeled home in the Highlands neighborhood in Denver, and we will be moving in mid-May. No more bachelorette pad, no more Wash Park, the tides are changing! And I am embracing the next step of our relationship in this new space.

Next year I will be the first drama teacher to teach at the Denver Center for International Studies (DCIS) at the downtown campus. They are a 6-12 school in Denver Public Schools, and if you check out the website, you can learn a lot more about how incredibly awesome of a school it is. I have my work cut out for me, there is already a strong, existing student-led Drama Club that will be putting on their 4th production, and they gave me a laundry list of how they'd like me to provide my courses. I am extremely humbled and enthusiastic about joining the staff and students at DCIS, get me there now!

I am leaving my school on bittersweet terms, I will definitely miss my students and battle with myself about the holes that will be left in their drama education, but I have to be grateful for this opportunity, that is unlike any I would have ever expected to fall into. Of course, I am leaving to further my career, but honestly I am very encouraged to be a part of a progressive, positive team that puts students first.

Recently at my current school, the work environment has not been the brightest. The area of the city where the school is located faces the popping up of new schools that are charters or have innovative status. This means that the school is still considered a public school, but they are run by a charter, or a different set of rules for things like school day hours, rules, strong school culture run by an academic focus, homework policies, testing schedules, whatever they believe is important can impede what the district has set up. Most of the time, these schools are successful, they have committed teachers and staff, they work hard and they set a strong culture of achievement and academics. Now thats not to say that sometimes these charter schools are not successful either, the work ethic of these staff members cannot always sustain.... it's a lot of work! There are still struggling students if they or their families are not on board with the charter, there is still a lot of discovery to made as far as what works the best, but regardless the popping up of these schools gives parents another option than just the neighborhood school that they would normally have to send their child. They have a choice, and in this area, they can shop around for the school they want to send their children.

On the surface, this creates friction between the traditional-public schools and these charters. Teachers feel "burdened" by the kids who did not get accepted to the charter, getting the "leftovers" or the "bad kids." And it also has been observed that they develop an attitude of resentment, or feeling like, "well those schools do this, and we do that," "why do they choose THEM over US," and an overall separation and negative feeling between the schools and their cultures.

Let me be clear, my new school is not a charter school, rather a school that offers an International Studies diploma to graduates who complete the requirements. It is a public school that is high achieving due to the commitment of staff, parents and students to keep the school academically focused. However, I have been feeling the heat from my current co-workers and their opinions about "those schools" threatening theirs. Without more information, I feel they are judging my decision to go to DCIS and that I am contributing to the overall decline of the public school structures in the district. I have sat back and been a fly on the wall while they carry on conversations about their frustrations with "those schools" and frankly, I need to vent without causing more stress in this work environment for the rest of the year!

The purpose of public schools are to provide a free, equitable education for ALL students. Now how this is done is different all over the country, city to city, rural town to mountain town, form old teachers to young teachers, the public school structure is different every where and it is allowed to be. As long as students are LEARNING, achieving and being supported in their goals, then the public school is doing their job. Instead of separating ourselves by structure or status, why don't teachers take time to go to another school to observe the differences, to take notes on what is working well and what is not working, and how they can adapt to the times and the needs of the school. Why don't teachers put the needs of the students FIRST instead of their own preferences and comfort levels with the schedule, with the curriculum, with the expectations. Reach higher for your students and for yourself than just what you are used to.

Maybe this is all easy for me to say, with my TFA background of having high expectations regardless of economic status, but I think it is also a common sense concept. Being a good teacher takes dedication to always reflecting and making yourself better for your students. If a charter school is better, or the structures within a public school are better, than so be it. But take into consideration the population, the needs, the families, the context of the school, the neighborhood. Stop yourself before you say "those schools" and say "all schools." All schools should be focused on cultivating the whole child. All schools should have academic achievement their primary focus, whatever means necessary. All schools should put students' needs before the needs of their students, and work on whatever it takes to make it the best environment for those students to learn. When we separate ourselves based on status or structure, we separate ourselves from the real mission and purpose of public schools.

That's all, thanks soap box for your hospitality.

To my teachers, from your student (now a teacher)

(e-mailed to my high school English, Spanish, History and Public Service teachers) 

It is standardized testing season in Colorado and so as a “specials” teacher, I have had the duty of assisting with proctoring tests the last full week. With all of this time to just stroll up and down the classroom observing the students, (which is very tiring as you probably know!) I have had a lot of time to think, to reflect and construct some thoughts that I wanted to send your way.

My principal has been asking select staff members to ‘share their story’ at staff meetings this year. In other words, at the beginning of our weekly PD, he chooses one random person to come up and tell everyone why they are a teacher. With the chance of being called up one of these days, I have been reflecting on that very question. It would be easy to just chalk up this career choice for me to chance and luck, that I got selected to be a Teach for America corps member out of college and luckily landed in Denver where the schools aren’t “too bad” and I can call in sick days conveniently when the mountains have got some new inches of snow… But honestly, when I think about why it makes sense for ME to be a teacher, I think about the learning experiences and relationships I had with all of you in high school.

From what I can remember, I did well in school when I was young because I liked it. I liked learning and feeling the confidence that came with presenting and sharing my knowledge with my teachers, peers and family. But as I got into high school, it was harder, the subjects, the social life, the impending future. Despite those inevitable difficulties, I enjoyed high school because of the experiences you provided for me and the connections you made with me as my teachers. Whether it was seeing a certain clip from John Stewart and understanding a political concept, or a deep conversation about a Shakespeare play, doing draft upon draft of a paper,a field trip to Washington D.C., a field trip to a play, discussing effective public service and business strategies through watching “The Apprentice,” doing service in the community, organizing and running food drives, speaking and joking around in Spanish, encouraging travel and international opportunity, encouraging one-on-one conversations about the future, about life, encouragement through hard times, sharing successes and learning and growing from failures…. All of these things are memories and skills that I bring with me every day I walk into my own classroom. I understand the extreme importance of student engagement, because you all had me engaged from the moment I was in your class. You taught me the importance of having positive relationships that sometimes warrant tough love, but always at the end of the day, knowing it is out of love. You showed me high expectations, not settling for my minimum amount of work or effort, but pushing me above and beyond to pursue whatever I wanted to.

As a public school teacher for 4 years now, and who knows for how much longer, I am proud to say that a large part of the reason I am a teacher is because of you guys, my teachers. I just wanted to say thank you to all 4 of you for the ways you inspired me and the ways you inspire your current students, co-workers and your own children every day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I miss you and would love to hear what is going on with each of you where you are now.

My best,

Caroline 

The Duties of a Teacher

In light of recent events, I've been inspired to reflect on my profession and the responsibilities it includes. Given that teachers are a part of the development and every day lives of growing children, the responsibilities are very vast. And it had not occurred to me until now, my 8th semester of teaching, that I fully realized what I am charged to do every day.


Teachers must be listeners.
We have to receive every word and idea from our students. We have to hold on to their dreams, their fears, their celebrations, their sorrows. We have to look them and listen to them with undivided attention and reception. We have to confirm to them that they may speak their minds and give their opinions in order to affirm to them that they are important and that what they have to say to us really matters.


Teachers must be messengers.
In addition to delivering our content standards, objectives, academic vocabulary, etc. we are messengers of current events, of coping strategies, of life experience, of expectations and consequences. We communicate to them of the riches that lie outside of the classroom walls, and that's a big responsibility! Everything we tell them, they believe, and their imaginations create, they accredit us for those details. They count on us to bring messages into their language and make connections for them to be excited about discovering in the world.


Teachers must be bodyguards.
As long as they are within the walls of our school, they are ours to protect. From what evil is out in the world, from what evil is within the school or evil within themselves. It's our job to save them from anything that could be harmful.


Teachers must be providers.
We have to provide a safe environment for them to develop, to learn, to make connections and to be themselves. We have to provide them with color, light, images, words, numbers, ideas, concepts, film, theater, music, all the things that they may not have access to when they are not in school. We have to provide opportunities for them to experience something new and incredible. They should look forward to discovering what's next that we have to provide for them. We have to provide experiences that they wouldn't get otherwise, and the empowerment to seek these experiences on their own.



Teachers must bring light.
I've heard this before, and thought it was completely cheesy and difficult. But it is absolutely true. When they bring darkness, when there is darkness outside out classrooms, we have to bring the light. A smile, an embrace, a kind voice, a second chance, a second opportunity, a fresh perspective, something other than the same dark responses or words that they might hear or have in their lives. It is a teacher's responsibility to bring encouragement, positivity, patience, empowerment to ALL students, regardless of their ability or engagement level. They all deserve to have teachers that try their hardest to reach them and give them the light that they need.



This is daunting to think about. However, not impossible. I know plenty of teachers who want to be all these things for students, and also know that it is imperative. And if one is not willing to listen, deliver messages, bodyguard, provide and bring light, then they're in the wrong career!

An academic post for you

This is what I posted for my last week of my first semester of grad school. I had to revisit a question I had made for myself at the beginning of the class.... 2) Will research and implementation of more effective drama teaching methods create a stronger drama program within my school? And if so, will the attitude and support within the school community improve if the program is strengthened by the drama teacher? Ahh.. revisiting this question right now at this point in the school year is frustrating because of certain recent events at work. As much as I want to take my Critical Links question and embrace it and make it my everyday teaching philosophy, I am very frustrated right now by what kind of feedback I have been getting from my school community. To briefly fill you in, I have been working the last few months on a small production with a large group of kids to perform one night next week in the school “Winterfest” program. Last week, a group of students “supervised” by a teacher in the building got onto the stage and took things for the play without asking, painted over things, broke things, took things, not belonging to them. My reaction was to reach out to the community asking for an explanation and explaining my boundaries and allowances for using drama club materials, and I was responded with basically a “we don’t care about your problems as the drama teacher” attitude. Completely discouraged by this response, I am pushing through the weeks until the performance next week trying to keep a positive attitude and remembering that this is for my students, not for me. It seems like my critical links question has sort of been answered. For the first time, I am doing major set construction, sound system/microphones, songs, hired a pianist, making costumes myself, have many people involved in the production. I am upping my drama teaching methods in order to meet the needs of my students- they are talented and deserve to put on a full scale play! However, the community seems to be responding with disregard for the work, not improving the community but rather further dividing it. I guess I have to take it upon myself to set this incident aside and say that it may take longer or it may take until AFTER the play goes up for the community to have more awareness and appreciation for me to notice. But for the time being, maybe I need to scale down my efforts to see a bigger impact. I have decided that for the future, I am not going to communicate with the staff about negative events, but rather just focus on the positive ones. I will also be more focused and specific with my projects to make sure that I don’t over-commit myself or over-stress myself on one project so that it discourages me from continuing my work. It has helped to delegate tasks to others, but it has also made it more of a high stakes performance to please all the people who have helped out. Hopefully, once I take these reflections and incorporate them into my attitude, methods and practices as the school drama teacher, I will see a positive impact in the community.

A Day Off (sort of)

Today I got to call in a sub to attend the annual Shakespeare Workshop to help begin to prepare DPS teachers for the 2013 Shakespeare Festival in April. This entails a 9-2:30 commitment, with a lovely lunch and breakfast, a two hour, hands-on drama lesson with the Denver Center for Performing Arts, and the company of other equally as engaged with Shakespeare teachers from across the district. I also added in an extra hour and a half of sleep, a long shower, a trip to the coffee shop to catch up on grad school work, and a definite commitment to going to yoga tonight. This was a DREAM compared to the ten hour days I've been putting in the last few weeks, with 7am meetings, rehearsals and waiting for parents at school until 5pm, calling multiple middle school students' parents regarding bad behavior, kindengarteners starting fights and peeling gum off my classroom floor and walls, driving to school in the dark, driving home in traffic in the dark.. ugh, this time of year it seems like the list of my complaints is endless. Thinking about making today a bit more about me, and not as much about my 100+ students of the moment and my drama club overall felt refreshing. Although it scares me to admit, what if I am already after 3 1/2 years realizing I am not cut out for this career in teaching? Unfortunately, the statistics are not in my favor. It is proven that teachers start to leave their jobs after 4 years due to burn out. Under appreciation, over working, and not enough pay leads to once inspired classroom leaders to want to find something more fulfilling for the pocket book and for the soul. Not that I don't get a lot out of what I am doing. Lately, more and more I see that I "get it" I do know how to teach my content and I know how to catch the kids that think they aren't into drama. I know how to solve classroom management problem issues, I know how to set up good classroom structures, and communicate directions with energy and positivity. And there are days (some days) that I end a class or go home feeling confident that I made a difference, and I can chalk it up as a "good day." However, I am beaten down, easily irritable, easily upset and prone to negativity by this time of the year. My emotions take a toll from being cut off most of the day with my students, and co-workers that when I have an outlet, I take it. And I am discouraged about how much longer I can neglect the needs I have personally. When have I put in enough time in the classroom when I can walk away without any guilt or regret? Is this a selfish idea to want to give myself a little more grace and care throughout the week? Am I doing enough to take care of myself right now, am I just hitting a hormonal point that is causing all of this to come out? Am I not being challenged enough in the ways I want to be challenge? Maybe I won't know all the answers to these questions until I take a break from teaching and see how it feels to not call a classroom my own for a year. Or maybe I owe it to myself and my students to stick it out and give them my best for a few more good years before I have to balance my own children with a career. All I know is I am tired. I am not sleeping because my brain keeps me awake with lists, solutions, problems, ideas, and possible catastrophes. How do teachers teach for 10+ years? That makes me even more tired thinking about it.

NIght before Election 2012

I remember that November day in 2008, there was a different atmosphere every where I went. Maybe it was because I was living and existing within the liberal and academic confines of a university, but I remember that victorious and liberating sense that hung about Minneapolis like it like it was yesterday. My class mates and I had worked hard in sorting out our own thoughts and responsibilities in voting in our first presidential election. Mine was made up of a few experiences, such as losing my job at an independent business due to the economic downturn, participating or observing worker's strikes on campus, participating in political performances and many lucid conversations with friends in college and friends from studying overseas. Being a campaign volunteer, and a Chicago-bred girl also helped the victor's cause as I was a bleeding heart Obama fan, ready to cast my vote for change. Flash forward four years later to my 25-year old self, to my classroom in Denver within an urban public school district. Now I am a current graduate student with 3 1/2 years teaching under my belt, working hard to close the racial and socioeconomic achievement gap, dutifully paying my taxes, using my health care plan as an independent, exercising my specific rights as a female, and doing my share to contribute to the American society. And may I add that the things I have experienced just in the last four years have transformed me into someone completely different than who I was four years ago when I cast my first vote. I have been exposed to the difficulties the economy has presented to low to middle class families. I have witnessed the difficulties that complicated immigration policies present. I have seen injustice within the American school system and I have been a part of the after effects from NCLB. This has made me wary and worried about the status of Americans, primarily with equity and accessibility for all citizens to a good, healthy and happy life. With all this being said, I still do have a lot yet to experience. More things to come that will shed even more light on the government and its connections to me. However I feel refreshed to take a step back and realize how much more affected and more informed I am this round, and confident about how I am casting my vote and how it will impact my future. On the night before the 2008 presidential election, I sat down and wrote about communication, and human interactions. Perhaps mostly because I was performing my first big civic duty of participating in democracy, to have my voice heard and my vote counted. Perhaps also I was heavily engaged in theater-based classes and soaking in new information like a greedy sponge every day. But in my reflections that night, I also charged my community with an important task that I myself in the last four years have failed to fulfill, so I am not about to blame our president for falling short on any of his promises. My much more insightful and empathetic self actually said, "No matter where you are, there is no harm in speaking with people about their world-view. Being as informed as you possibly can only makes you more confused, but it can also only offer an exchange to inform the less informed. Speaking with people, body to body, face to face and creating a chain of real story-telling I think is the most conducive way to START change, somewhere in the world at least. Build space for mutual respect and share your own history." Yikes, Caroline. Then how come you haven't been engaging with others about this election? Yes of course, engaging with friends who share the same views. Definitely engaging with my students, from the ages of five to fifteen, about who would THEY vote for and why, and asking them why I should vote for who I will vote for. Engaging with my parents and close family who I already knew agreed with me in the first place. Engaging with my boyfriend in a few challenging conversations, who tends to reject politics because of the devisiveness it causes within his family. But have I been trying to "informed the less informed?" I wouldn't put 4th graders into the less informed category, necessarily because they cannot vote. Back the train up, have I made myself as informed as I can possibly be? I wish I could do better. I wish I took time to speak with others who have different perspectives than I do, to understand their stories more thoroughly, and to challenge my own thinking. I teach my students to think that way, why can't I practice it myself? The public has been quick to size up Obama's '08 promises to the results he has presented since he was elected. But before we are so quick to consider his failures, perhaps we should check on our own. When resolutions or promises have you failed to maintain over the past four years? Over the past year, six months, week? How often do you hold yourself accountable to living the values that you hold so important in a leader of our country? Do you challenge your own thinking by engaging with others, or by taking opportunities to teach when you think there is a teaching moment to be had? Nobody is perfect, and nobody should pretend to be. But I do think that everyone deserves multiple chances to check in with themselves and hold themselves responsible for their own actions. Lucky for me, I spend my day chock-full of teachable moments and have many of them! But I have decided I am not going to waste any more of those opportunities. I am not going to pass up chances to listen, to consider or to engage (and that includes seven year olds to seventy year olds). My older, more reserved self, is going to take the advice of a strapping 21-year-old hopeful that landed herself in Colorado to take this voting opportunity to engage, to teach, to learn, to listen, and to live my values.

3 years of teaching, check!

One more week of my 3rd year of teaching! Compared to my first two, this one has definitely given me more satisfaction, more enjoyment and more personal growth I think than I had in my first two. Being in a new school, in a new position, new living situation, new friends and family in Colorado, I really think I have clarified a lot of things that were fuzzy before and I know that being a teacher is what I am supposed to be doing. It is excited to see this a bit more clearly and to be able to plan for the next few years to work harder on being the best drama teacher that I can be. This weekend I did a day and a half training for being licensed to teach yoga to kids. I decided to do it in spite of a parent letter I got from one of my students addressing the yoga stretches I teach my kids in drama. They had asked me to not involve their child in any yoga activities whatsoever and so this sparked my curiosity about what it actually DOES mean to teach yoga. I went through a training at a local yoga organization here in Denver, and I am excited to see where this new knowledge takes me. I have a lot of ideas about adding different activities and concepts to my curriculum, and even adding an after school yoga club at my school. The summer is filled with a few visits from family and friends, a trip to St. Louis, a trip to California, and possibly a trip to Chicago. I will also be teaching drama at the Museo de las Americas and preparing to start my graduate program in the fall. Crazy how fast 3 years have gone by, especially this last year. I am grateful for all of the changes that have presented themselves and allowed me to grow and learn and allow Denver to be a bigger and bigger part of who I am and the direction I am taking my career and life!

Everything is falling into place

Lots to update!

- Getting closer to the Shakespeare Festival! First we have a Spring Arts Night to perform our scenes at, so the kIds have been working hard on memorizing their lines and blocking, and I have been running all over the city collecting costume pieces and making sure everything is prepared for the Arts Night. I am proud of the kids and I think they will do great.

- Found out this week that I am accepted to begin at the University of Northern Colorado in the Fall of 2012 in their Master's program in Theater Education! Very exciting news, feeling like I am FINALLY making bigger strides towards learning and growing in my profession, and I cannot wait to get started.

-Got a little summer gig teaching theater at the Museo de las Americas Summer Camp! I volunteered at this camp 2 years ago when there were about 24 kids, and they told me that this year there will be about 90 some kids between kindergarten age and 6th grade! Very excited for the opportunity and to stay a bit busy this summer staying sharp on my teaching skills.

- Brought K home to Chicago for the first time, showed him around the city and he met the family. Very proud of him for getting accepted into school and making a positive splash with my family and friends. He is such a great part of my life right now and it was wonderful to bring him back there and show him that part of me.

- Also just looking forward to an already pretty busy summer of visitors and vacations and working and relaxing. Spring time is the busiest time of the year it seems like, and so the summer arriving and being a bit longer, will be very rewarding. : )


With a bunch of negativity around me this week, my clarifying and SWEATY yoga session tonight motivated me to sit down and hammer out the summer and the rest of the spring, and also gave me some space in my head to reflect on all the POSITIVE things that have happened and that are happening. I am proud of the progress I have made this year and I am excited about all of the possibilites of things that are to come!

"It's not WHO you are, it's THAT you are."

Mini successes in the life of a drama teacher

It's about that time in the year when stress is high, people are tense, kids are a bit stir crazy from being inside all the time, teachers are plagued by the time constraints and pressures of standardized testing... I thought I'd take inventory NOW on the mini success I have experienced recently despite the crazy climate!

*New surge of motivation and inspiration - applied for MA in Theater Education at the University of Northern Colorado, to begin next fall. Set long term career goal to develop and design a Neighborhood Bridges- like program here in Denver! more to come...

* 6 Flip Cams were donated to my classroom through generous donations made through donorschoose.org. My 8th graders this rotation are awesomely inspiring and made some amazing commercials http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKuFHh6PX8U&list=LLpD9qlY-c5E2HC9hjcsNSpA&feature=mh_lolz.
This has begun my creation of a new unit all about FILM MAKING! These kids are super technological and have such creative ideas.. Stay tuned to more video projects done by my middle schoolers...

*Shakespeare Club is in full swing, and I have adapted 3 scenes from Twelfth Night for about 10 3rd-8th graders to perform in the DPS Shakespeare Festival in May. It has been a bit of an undertaking, but I have to admit that when I hear children speaking Shakespeare, it gives me the chills! I can't wait to teach them more about this story, these characters, and expose them to the curiosity they may find studying this work!

* Stepped up for some more leadership responsibilities at my school, got some compliments that were well needed, and going back to my old school to see old students today and watch my new students play them in basketball.


While things are often discouraging, and the politics of teaching in a public school can sometimes blind us from the work we are doing, I have to continuously take a look at these things that I AM doing and enjoy my students that I have right now. This is what I've been wanting to do all along!

Happy New Year

One week into the new year and one week away from turning 25, feels like a good time to check in!

The holidays were a blur of work, holiday activities, directing and presenting my first student play, (!!!) some time in IL and OH with family and friends, time in the mountains skiing, and back to school again. This time of year seems to fly by, but I feel like I did a decent job of soaking in the time to relax, not get too stressed or frenzied, and enjoy time off with people that I care about.

The play was successful! Didn't think it would go as well as it did, while not perfect, the girls demonstrated to me that at the last minute they could perform! And I am quite proud of the time and energy we put into it. Today was the first day of Shakespeare rehearsals/auditions, and despite anxiety last night about working with some of the other adults or having nightmarish kids show up, it was actually SUPER uplifting and exciting to hear students saying lines like, "if music be the food of love, then play on!"

Even though after sleepless weekends of fun and skiing I really dread getting out of bed and driving 40 minutes to Green Valley Ranch, there are certainly aspects of my job that I am really really loving, especially compared to the last 2 years. I still really miss the companionship of friends from RBN and the comfort there was there of visiting and venting to other friends, BUT I think that I am beginning to develop a foundation at FPW for the kids.

Bring on 25! Still thinking about values to dedicate this time to.. but while I think about that I do have some goals:

-Run the Bolder Boulder 10K in May
-Get Kevin to Grayslake/Chicago
-Get accepted to grad school at UNC

Family & Faith

Sorry I've neglected you once again for a 2 month stint little blog. As I've told myself before, it's so important to reflect as you go, and lately I've just been going and perhaps in the absence of reflecting more frequently, found myself a little bit out of sorts.

Already in my 14th week of teaching drama! Began a new semester this past week with kindergarten, 1st grade, 4th grade, 6th grade and 8th grade. Some things that have gone well, in the midst of constantly changing my speaking register and the arrangement of my room to accomodate 5 year olds to 15 year olds -

-the little ones made character hats before they acted out the 3 Little Pigs. Super cute, super easy lesson and really helped them develop character a little quicker than just character walks and voices. (works well for Kinder and 1st, maybe even 2nd)

-did an impromptu speech project with the older students - they had 30 seconds to present a cold speech from a topic they chose on the spot, then we reflected on good and bad speaking habits. Even though this lesson was rocky at times, I think for me it really did set up a clear baseline of where the kids' confidence is at and it also gave me an opportunity to stress how important it is to be able to have conviction and confidence when you are speaking.

Otherwise, I've been a bit discouraged lately. Maybe it's the point in the year when you're supposed to see some kind of amazing shift in the creativity the students are putting out there, and I'm just not seeing it. Maybe it's the point in the year where I am supposed to be getting feedback about how great I am doing - but I feel like I have received the opposite. Looking for inspiration in Denver is hard, the mountains are a wonderful sanctuary on the weekends to forget about the stress I put on myself related to work. But artistic and creative inspiration is sparse.

For these fallish/winterish months I've decided to focus on family and faith, and see what happens when I trust my roots and the people who root me, more than just my own individual endeavors and ideas. I want to be surprised by what I can actually discover when I put my faith in my family and my family and their faith, first?!

the definition of faith is --- complete trust or confidence in someone or something

To me, this means letting go of instincts that go otherwise than what your heart tells you. Having faith that the future is going to turn out okay, based on the fact that all decisions you've made up to now have created a great life, full of adventures, friends, challenges and triumphs. Letting go of worries and difficulties, and having faith that the people who love you and you loving yourself is what is going to make everything fall into its right place.


the definition of family is - a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy

Coming from a very small actual biological family, my idea of family includes but extends past just my parents, grandparents, etc. While they are the people who root me, who we have an unconditional and mutual love for each other, when I think about who else I treat with special loyalty or intimacy it definitely includes many friends I've made along the way. These days it includes a boyfriend, who has a large biological family nearby, whom he has so graciously included me in many times now, and provides me with a huge sense of special intimacy. This leaves me feeling super grateful but also with a sense of emptiness and wonder how he'd fit with my family, with my home base, how he can intertwine himself with my roots.

So I am going to ask a lot of questions, give lots of love and attention to family and the faith that they provide me with. Seems appropriate at the holiday times anyways, but has been something that has been on my brain a lot recently. I'll be going back home twice this holiday season, and I am confident that those trips will give me lots of motivation and recharged energy to use in the areas I feel deflated these days.

So cheers to turkey or tofurkey, cheers to snow, cheers to love that comes in many wonderful forms.
C

Commitment & Creativity

If there are any followers out there, sorry it's been so long! Caroline has still been in Denver, but my life is such a super different version than what it was the last time I made some remarks on this little blog. Let's start with the biggies -

-said good bye to some really amazing students, co-workers and friends

- spent 3 weeks this summer teaching THEATER at Denver Camp at my placement school, with 4th-8th graders. Lots of fun, great practice for my new job!

-moved to a new apartment by myself, just around the corner from my previous house, after the other 3 of my room mates and I all went separate directions for new journeys!

-spent the rest of the summer taking trips for college friends' weddings in Sioux Falls and Kansas City, a few trips to Minneapolis to spend time with my bride friend whom I am a bridesmaid for this fall, also taking an epic camping trip to Capitol Reef NP, Bryce Canyon NP, and ZIon NP all in Utah with my fabulous friend and previous room mate, and finally a trip home to see my extended family in Chicago

-met a really great guy who I am still spending lots of time with and is making me very happy

Flash forward to NOW. Working at my new job teaching drama to 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 6th graders right now, but will eventually see almost all 990 students at FPW. LOVING the challenge of creating my own curriculum, the challenge of starting up a theater program at this school, putting together a drama club, potentially putting up some performances, and embracing the every day laughter and joy of being with kids while they create, perform and respond. It is really a great change for me, and every day I learn something new that inspires me to make myself better.

I have not given up on my monthly intentions, I just haven't been as faithful about blogging them. I think August and September has been commitment and creativity.

commitment = dedication; application, a pledge or undertaking

creativity = the use of the imagination or original ideas, esp. in the production of an artistic work.


I have really RE-COMMITTED to teaching after a summer of lots of changes, and specifically been trying to COMMIT to my new placement. Being at a new school is not easy, meeting teachers, getting used to the culture and the kids even. But after about 6 weeks, it feels right being there, and even though there are good and bad days, I feel a sense of commitment to being there and being my best self. I have also needed to commit to the way my life has changed, realizing that a lot of my closest friends are no longer here or close by, but having this new special person in my life to commit to, it's been something to work on for me.

I have also really needed to fuel my creativity, as I see my students for 45 minutes in 3 week or 6 week blocks, so constantly evaluating my lesson plans and how I can transfer creative instincts to my students in that short amount of time. I have already joined some professional communities in Denver to help fuel my creativity, and I have began some, what I think, are creative ideas for my year in theater/drama. So I am excited to continue these efforts to fuel my creativity.

I want to use the blog now to continue to practice my writing, as I have realized that maybe some day I'd consider a career of it (?) but also to provide other theater teachers or aspiring drama enthusiasts or educators, with ideas that have worked for me. So look forward to more posts about creative lessons or ideas to use in K-8 general ed classes and theater classes.

As JP always says, peace, love and learning.

C

Wrapping up responsibilities

The 2010-2011 school year has finally come to an end! Even though now it seems like this year has flown by, I have to say that as a whole, this school year has really tested my limits as far as patience and balance is concerned. However, I feel extremely relieved and proud of the work I have done this year and in these last two years with TFA, and I would not go back and change a thing.

Last week was full of festivities, beginning with Noel Idol, the talent show, that myself and my other teacher friend organized. While our students are still learning proper audience etiquette, and still developing their singing, dancing and instrumental talents, we got a lot of compliments for the way the show was done and how much work the kids and ourselves put into the show. It was a lot of fun, as the co- emcee, and the highlight for my student may have been when I went to sit down with the judges on the stage, and missed the chair and fell completely on my butt in front of the entire 7th grade.

Wednesday was the 8th grade Continuation, which myself and LM also had a lot of organization and planning energies involved in. The ceremony was nice, similar to last year, lost of families there, over-the-top outfits and tears, balloons, bouquets, but it created a really nice feeling of finality to the year and I was pretty proud of most of the kids who showed up. Our bottom line however, was hoping that these kids and families want MORE of these continuation/graduations ceremonies to happen for these kids, that this was not the last one but the first one of many to come.

Thursday we went to Elitch's (the Great America, or Six Flags of Denver) with the 8th graders, and all of the 8th graders started to add us on Facebook.. That has been interesting to negotiate. . .

This weekend has just been full of fun, parties and being outside, BBQ's, celebrating the end of a solid year and the start of a good summer. My summer is packed full of working here in Denver, moving then traveling around for weddings and having wonderful visitors come to Denver and play music. I am super excited for all of the fun things lined up for this summer, it's going to be great and well-deserved before the next, new crazy adventure of a school year starts up again.

Responsibility in May? Yeah, I think I rocked it. Tomorrow I will check out with Teach for America and Rachel B. Noel officially, and then I think I will feel like my job has been done. I am grateful for the sense of urgency I have developed towards reforming education that working at that school has given me. TFA and RBN helped me to get a clearer picture of what the achievement gap is and put me in a school that feels it and is perishing because of it. Now, it's up to me to guide myself down other paths in continuing to be a part of the solutions to the achievement gap. Hopefully for me, that path is through being a drama teacher, or building and supporting advocacy for arts education policy. I am excited for how this experience is going to always inform the choices I make concerning education and the actions I continue to take to try to close the achievement gap. It's hard work, but it's worthy work.

Until next school year?
Ms. Younts

late night thoughts on teaching -

I'm looking at myself in the mirror, the night before 8th graders Continuation, and I come to the ugly realization that 2 years of TFA teaching does the same thing to your face that happens to the president after 4 years in presidency.

yikes, this summer I must de-haggard myself.

I am starting to think that teaching is not about the ones you leave behind, but the ones that you pick up.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss

Weird/offensive/sad/funny/inappropriate responses to the end of the year happening at RBN.

- lots of ditching, unfortunately done by one of my favorite students. We tracked her down and caught her, and at this point in the school year there were no consequence s given to any of them from the administration. ugh.

-Marcus telling me I was the best teacher ever and that they are sad when I am not there and that they are going to miss me a lot.
:)

-My 8th graders spending an entire period telling me I looked like a past (uglier) teacher, and then telling me that I looked like 2 of the other students, basically spent the whole time making fun of me and other teachers. I was trying to read "Oh the Places You'll Go" to them, and got all emotional, and all they could do was make fun of me. I am attesting this to several things: maybe this is their reaction to me being emotional and telling them I am proud of them and telling them how I will miss them and that I hope all the best for them in their futures. Maybe they can't handle the emotion, or they can't handle someone actually showing compassion towards them. Even though it sucked that they were basically calling me ugly and boring, I believe deep down their is some other explanation to their reaction.

- fights resulting in kids in the hospital :(

- two fire alarm pulls

- many Noel Idol talent show rehearsals, with lots of talented kiddos :)

-lots of food, packing, stress, rain, long days and even a few tears.

Definitely time for this part of the teaching journey to come to a bittersweet ending. Interesting to sit back and take inventory of how we are all dealing with the closing of this chapter.

- C

noel idol talent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecB2JAf-sK8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKDR_PH20oc

TFA Graduated!

Last night was the Teach for America Alumni Induction, where all of the corps members in Colorado for 2009 were "officially" announced as alumni. I was very proud to see all of my peers with smiles of triumph and survival and to hear from them and about them about what they are doing next. It was also very rewarding to hear the following things from speakers last night -

"Whether it be teaching middle schoolers Shakespeare and organizing Holocaust speakers, I have been continually impressed by the endless pursuit of these teachers" (my program director about ME!)

"Thank you for being a teacher" - Taggart Hansen, '93 LA corps member living in Denver


While not perfectly organized and myself plagued with a migraine, it was a pleasant sort of "cap" to the end of these past 2 years as a TFA Corps member. I am proud of being a part of this organization that truly has a unique and strong commitment to closing the achievement gap, and has helped me transition from being a student to being a teacher. As my dad as pointed out, all of the things I am doing are a part of my "body of work" that I am collecting and pursuing as a young adult with a developing career. I am grateful for this experience and how it has truly prepared me for probably any other challenge that awaits me.


2 more weeks of being a special educator at RBN! This week I am mostly wrapping things up with my curriculum, showing my students their grades, giving them last chances to make up missing work, give feedback, tie lose ends. This week is intense of rehearsals for the talent show, then next week is jam-packed with activities, including the talent show, 8th grade graduation, and the field trip to Six Flags again.

I have been pursuing responsibility in many ways, firstly completing TFA, completing the year, but also I found an apartment for next year in the neighborhood I live now, which I love. I also made a decision to continue working for about 4 weeks in June before I move, working at my school at Denver Camp and teaching a 2 week theater class and then going to a conference for art teachers. I am trying to continue my running, though the end of the year makes teachers tired, especially after long days after school with soccer and talent show obligations. But trying to stick with consistent healthy and responsible habits has been on the forefront, and I think I am doing okay.

Lots of people leaving as well, lots of good bye parties and celebrations coming up. May is a busy month!

Peace -C

Responsibility

For May, I was led to responsibility.

To be responsible means having an obligation to do something, or having control over or care for someone, as part of one's job or role.

To me at first, this really means not slacking off these last 4 weeks of work. Continuing to be 100% present for my students, with work for them, fair assessments to see their growth over the year, and engaging lessons and activities every day. I want to finish my job at RBN as a solid teacher, coach and mentor. So I am dedicating May to doing just that, despite how stressful it has become.

Had a very interesting conversation with my kids today about the killing of bin Laden. At first they thought that he should have just been put in jail for life. Then they changed their minds and decided he should have been blown up. Then later in the lesson, one of my students used our new prefix SUPER- and named bin Laden a supervillain. :) I thought that was cool.


I am also going to own up to my responsibilities to others in my life-

Taking a much needed trip back to Grayslake/Chicago to reconnect with IL friends and my parents. It's been the longest I've been away from home in a while. Learning how to be responsible for being a caring and thoughtful daughter, is something I want to dedicate some energy to, while I am there, in person.

And finally taking responsibility for myself; keeping up with my running habits, reading habits and having fun habits.
Celebrating and caring for all the people in my life who are making big, new steps- whether that be getting married, having a baby, moving to Thailand, moving to South Carolina, getting a new job, finishing their 1st or 2nd year of teaching, finishing grad school, or maybe even just 'continuating' from the 8th grade. I am full of pride and love.

"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else."

In April, curiosity has led me to...

-itching to travel
-thinking more about my body and mind connections and how much power these 2 systems have over each other
- re-connecting with friends
-improving friendships
-being grateful and mindful for the things I do, I use and I take for granted every day