when it rains it pours

This isn't going to be the most uplifting blog to date, so if you don't want to hear it, run now!
I just need a space to vent, as no one is answering their phone tonight, and I'm not at my house.

I miss EVERYTHING about fall 2008 right now.

-the amazing students at Marcy Open School

-the amazing teaching artists from CTC

-college life/living

-Minnesota fall weather

-not bottling up tons of negativity about my job ... but LOVING a job/internship/weekly schedule that made me look forward to the next day and the next day...

-Rarig Center

-seeing performances, musical, theatrical

-being more IN MY BODY

-having people I love always near me, supporting me every day in what I love to do

I know I should feel so lucky to have this opportunity to do all these workshops and classes, but structures out here are so much different, and don't make it easy. Right now I am finding that there is too much structure or not enough structure for my class to work out. I'm unhappy with the lack of support I am receiving in all directions- teaching, being a special ed teacher, being a workshop facilitator for TFA, being an enrichment teacher for Beacons.

It's not that I can't balance all of these things, but rather that it's I am not receiving constructive feedback on how I'm doing, or encouragement to keep doing what I am doing. Instead, people are making clumsy mistakes that reflect on me, other people are giving me more responsibilities that I don't want to have to take on. I guess I am realizing that I cannot be a one-woman-show, and I need people around me who are on the same page, who care about me and who want to see me succeed in being who I am and doing what I do.

I miss my friends, but I know I took on this challenge of being far away.

I miss CTC, Minneapolis, St. Paul, but I know I took on this challenge of doing the work in Denver.

I miss being more confident in what I am doing and feeling a sense of success in my work, but I know I have to be patient, because it will come later.

I just miss. but it will get better.

Happy first day of fall 2010,
C

Amazing Challenges ahead!

The school year has gotten off to a good start. Here is what my day looks like:

1st half hour- 'home room' type class, all 8th grade general education boys, we work on things like doing community service and outreach, character development and just building positive relationships. I love these guys already, I call them all my 'brothers.' Or as Jonathan said, 'brother from another mother of a different color.' They are a hilarious and awesome way to start each day.

2nd period - I teach 7th grade special education students in a Language Arts intervention class. There are 7 students right now, 4 girls and 3 boys. They are very low in their reading and writing skills, but the small class size and their excellent behavior excites me for the possibilities for growth they have this year. We have already completed half a unit in the first 2 weeks! They are flying!

3rd period - Mondays and Fridays I do inclusion support for one 8th grade algebra class, on the other days I use that period for IEP planning time and other paper work I have to do.

4th period - Lunch

5th period- Tuesday-Thursday I do inclusion support for another 8th grade algebra class for 8 students that are designated special education but just need extra help in math.

6th period - 8th grade team meeting/collaborating with teachers.

7th period - Inclusion support for 8th grade general education Language Arts.

Tuesday after school will be my IEP meetings, which I have one every Tuesday for the next 2 months. bummer.

Here comes the exciting news....... drum roolllllll......

I have been asked this year by the Beacon program at our school to teach on Mondays and Wednesdays after school a THEATER CLASS!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited, it starts the week after next. Busy planning that, will fill you in on more details later.

The other exciting commitment I have made this fall is through Teach for America. I will be doing 2 different workshops about Theatre of the Oppressed. This is the work I did my senior year in college, which dealt with using theatre games and techniques to 'rehearse for reality.' I am using 1 professional development seminar night to present one workshop to interested corps members in their 1st or 2nd year. I am then leading a group that will meet 3 times in October to do Theatre of the Oppressed work more in-depth and in a less formal setting. I am SO excited to teach about this and see what my colleagues think about it and have to contribute to what I already know! I am very intimidated with this challenge but know that this is what I came here to do and experiment with and I feel so lucky to have found these opportunities to give it a try.

In the mean time, busy busy planning for all of these things, getting into a new routine and enjoying the end of summer the best I can.

Bought my ski pass and a new ski jacket, so once the crazy fall is over, I'll be ready to hit the slopes. Things are great, things seem to really be falling in to place outside of school and into my passions and interests that got me here in the first place .

Peace-

C

Back in Action!

aaaaaaand we're back, for year number 2!

I had a fabulous summer, spending about half in Denver doing various things like hikes, baseball games, MOVING to a new and fabulous house, volunteering at El Museo de las Americas for their summer art camp, and enjoying little work! The other half I spent at home in Grayslake/Chicago, a quick trip back to Minneapolis, and then some exciting trips to places near here. I went on a camping trip with Joanna to 5 National Parks in 5 days- we spanned most of Colorado and some of Utah. . . Then I went up to Yellowstone with my grandma and then enjoyed Estes Park/Rocky Mountain NP with the rest of my family. It was definitely an eventful summer that contained the perfect balance of friends, family, nature and city life. I am so grateful!

School officially started for teachers on Friday, so we have had some all-day, intensive orientations since then, just getting back into the swing of things, moving classrooms, meeting new teachers, learning new systems, protocols, procedures, etc. Because my school has received a grant for "transformation" this year, the expectations for professionalism and quality instruction are very high, and so the administration is really cracking down on the teachers and that they are all working hard.

For sped teachers, this is a bit different. Schedules aren't yet complete, we've been moved into one office, I don't have my own classroom this year, I will only be teaching one class of language arts to 7th graders that are reading below a 3rd grade reading level, and then the rest of the day I will work as a consultant to the 8th grade teachers with special education students in their classes, either going in to support or pulling out small groups. I will have much more time to create good paperwork for the students, but I will have much less contact with students than I did last year. This is good and bad for many reasons, but mainly just adjusting to a new year and new expectations and finding the positive in all of it has been my main focus as of late. I definitely feel like I have more responsibility this year to lead as a 2nd year teacher, and I am not scared to speak out if there is something I believe that needs to be heard. I am also much more confident in my planning for my one class, because I have taught it before and I have a year of teaching under my belt. There are 5 Teach for America new teachers at our school and 3 are on the 8th grade team, so it is exciting to have the chance to work with them on differentiating for the special education students. While I won't have as much time or contact with students, or have my own classroom to welcome them into, I will have more energy and time to fill other responsibilities and balance a bit better. There are so many good opportunities to take advantage of this year, so why dwell on the negative things...

On that note! Still lots to do, but without a feeling of impossibility. Getting late, will post soon about how my students are this year! I get to meet them all on Tuesday.

Paz-

C

Catch up time

Lots to catch up on.

So the last week of school was so many things- busy, fun, stressful, odd, emotional, but it went by super quickly. We had finished our last class test, which I was pretty happy about - my class averaged 78% mastery on all the learning objectives I taught them this year. Not 80% but, very close. I was proud of all of them, but especially a few of them who made significant growth since the beginning of the school year.

Noel Idol was that Monday, I helped out by just helping to organize the students and put them on stage when they needed to go. It was very fun to see different groups of students who I didn't know, but also get to see a few of my students singing or dancing, really in their element. At the last performance, Mr. Madden played the piano and I sang a pop song with the kids on stage. It was pretty funny.

Tuesday was the 8th grade Continuation which I also helped out with, making sure all the kids were in their correct seats so they walked across the stage at the correct time. I also got to give each 8th grader their certificate as they shook the principal's hand. It was a really nice event, went by super fast, but the most rewarding part was when 2 of my students and their families came up to me and thanked me for my help this year. Made it all feel worth it!

Wednesday we took all the 8th graders to Six Flags for their big field trip. I only got to ride 2 rides with students, but it was a pretty fun day which ended in returning to the school and seeing them all in the hallway for a real tornado warning.

Thursday was only 6th graders in the school, mostly just cleaning out classrooms, moving things across the school to new classrooms, etc. The 8th grade teachers all went out to lunch, which was nice. Friday was no students, just some intense planning meetings and tying up lose ends for the summer.

I am volunteering go to do some work for the 'transformation' of the school based on our audit from the department of education this year. So this summer I will be volunteering for Noel, for TFA and at the Latin American Art museum in Denver. I'll also be all moved into the new house on Clarkson Street probably by the end of this week, and doing hikes all over Colorado. I have enjoyed my time at home, visiting friends in the city, relaxing around Grayslake, caught onto Blackhawk fever, and just unwinding a little. I will be back in IL a few more times in the upcoming months for 2 weddings- one I am in and one I am going to with my dad. Glad I can see my family since this year I have really not been able to spend a lot of time with them.

I am proud that I finished year one! There were lots of challenges that I overcame, and I think will make me a better teacher next year. I am so grateful for my students and all that we learned from each other. I will truly miss their hilarity and presences in my classroom- BUT I am actually excited to try some new things next year and possibly loop with some of the 6th graders I had this year and teach them in the 7th grade.

So the rest is in pictures! Enjoy- will probably update the ol' blog when it gets closer to the beginning of the school year.

Frida!
The girls outside the new house.

The living room in the new house.
My bedroom which is the upstairs of the house.
The beautiful kitchen.
At the reception with a student after the Continuation.

One of my students who was pretty much the star of Noel Idol, he MOONWALKED! It was amazing..
One of my students and I on the last day in my classroom, cleaning everything up and jamming out to Justin Bieber and Ke$ha. I will miss this one a lot.

quick update before I forget!

Too busy to make a big blog tonight, BUT I wanted to post some info on here before I forgot.

I will be in Grayslake/Chicago area from May 30th -June 9th, probably no visit to Minnesota in those 10 days, but look forward to one later in the summer. I need some time to relax at home and be with my family, as I feel like I have neglected them all year!

I am moving! June 15th will be my last day in the little apartment on 11th Ave, and I start my lease on a new house on June 5th, so I wanted to post the new address on here for snail mailers:

Caroline Younts

35 S Clarkson St.

Denver, CO 80209

ALSO I am a kitty mama! My friend John's dad rescued some kittens 2 weeks ago, and they have been kind enough to pass one kitten on to me. I will be picking her up when I get back to Denver- her name is Frida. :)

That's all! Will post about Noel Idol, Continuation and everything else later this week!

PEACE

The end is near!

2 more weeks left of school!

Yesterday I was able to check off one thing on my list of end-of -the -year deadlines. I gave my final presentation for my Participatory Action Research project for my licensure courses. I did my project on integrating theatre with literacy, and I gave a presentation that involved my audience acting things out, and I felt that I got my message and my project across pretty clearly. (I hope!)

Overall, the project was a good experience for me, not sure if I organized it the way they were hoping for, but I did the best I could and still have to turn in a final paper with it..

This week I have to give all my 8th graders their end of year assessments, so we are playing lots of review games, and doing some fun things as well. I have rewards for them, and we have a dance on Friday, talent show next Monday and 8th grade "Continuation" next Tuesday. I am helping out with all of these things, so it has been fun for me to be involved in more 'fun' school activities. Helps me meet more kids and do things that I enjoy, like working with the student council, getting to know other teachers and putting on something nice for the kids. I am getting quite sad that I have to say farewell to some of my students, we have become a little family this year, them being patient with me as a first year teacher, and me getting to know them on good an bad days. I can't believe the year is almost done! Look at all that has happened.

Also preparing for a good summer, getting ready to move out of my little apartment, sadly I have to move out because they are renovating the whole building.. but I am excited to move in with my 3 lovely TFA friends out here, and find a new house or some where that 4 girls can be comfortable. (we haven't found that yet) Been riding the emotional roller coaster lately about school being done, missing family and friends, overwhelmed with work for TILA and preparing for the end of the year, stupid boy problems, but I am settling into just realizing how much things have changed this year and where I am at in all these aspects. Really, things are good overall. I have come a long way, and have some excellent students, a positive outlook for next year, and exhaustion to show for it all!! :)

Will probably post continuation, end of year, etc photos soon. Stay tuned!

C

Practice what you preach!

Just a few thoughts before I forget them.

In the midst of things as crazy as ever, I am left wondering what else has to happen to further establish the ugly truth that educational systems, especially for the more disadvantaged, are highly, highly flawed. After a week of teachers being non-renewed at our school, to teachers not showing up for a sustained time, to countless student fights, outbursts, threats, bullying, emotional break downs of teachers and students, and the most disheartening of all, the lack of instructional time with our students, I have continued to work as hard as I can to do MY best and to maintain a positive outlook. However, I am not sure what else could happen for me to be even more shocked or repelled from working in public schools.

It seems like this year, I have seen it all, and while I have seen some people working on making real improvements, I think a lot of people are missing the point or are displacing the blame on other things. I think it all boils down to community; and not just one community. It has to do with several communities, coming together to see problems and see solutions to make change. I can't believe the racism, the sexism, the classism, the neglect to address BIG, and IMPORTANT issues that exist in my school. There are so many dysfunctional relationships and systems, and when all of these things collide nothing gets solved. Bitterness, hate, ego and pride all build a wall against cultivating a school community. There is such similarity in the community that my students live in and the culture that has been created at my school, and it is clearly a culture of violence and hate.

My solution is simple. Reach out to the community to better understand where this culture of violence stems from. Try to understand their community and make the school community transform in a way that they can understand how they can CHANGE their own neighborhood. It is SO important and SO obvious that the students need to be able to connect their own lives to the lives they lead in school during the week. When we walk around our school all day, pushing middle class values down their throats, speaking to them not in their native language, making them practice rituals that they don't understand, it is no wonder they will rebel. Respect to wanting an education and wanting to feel SAFE in a community has to start outward and move inward, it has to be fluid. It cannot sustain on its own within the walls of the school.

Do theatre! Make change by performing the problems that exist in Montbello. Act out how problems are solved with hateful words and violence. Put yourself as a person, as an actor, into that action and CHANGE it. Choose a different solution. Be kind, be peaceful. Show that with your actions. Let the community see the possibility of ACTING on change. Theater is REHEARSAL for REALITY. Make a show out of the injustices that exist in the community. I return to the passionate mission I had when I came out here, that theatre can be revolutionary, and can make change in communities that are falling a part. My school and its community are damaging each other. This extends any state standards, any district obligations, paper work, curriculum, assessment, data, any of that. These are people and it is their future. Our future.

WE are the only ones with the vision to empower people to make changes in ways they never imagined they could. I am hopeful but I know that it's going to take harder work than even I am putting in now.

Feeling like Obama/Boal/Freire at this point, I also want to remember good things such as...

KJ winning the Hope Scholarship for Most Improved in the 8th grade, and winning $500 for higher education.

BC's IEP meeting and how much he has improved this year.

DE's protectiveness, concern and interest in me and my life.

A good visit with my aunt and grandma this past weekend.

Feeling productive with work that has approaching deadlines..

Planning for a fun summer, doing work with El Museo del las Americas, a Latin American Art Museum in Denver.

Getting a long night's sleep to let this all sink in and make something meaningful out of the last few weeks of school.

C