when it rains it pours

This isn't going to be the most uplifting blog to date, so if you don't want to hear it, run now!
I just need a space to vent, as no one is answering their phone tonight, and I'm not at my house.

I miss EVERYTHING about fall 2008 right now.

-the amazing students at Marcy Open School

-the amazing teaching artists from CTC

-college life/living

-Minnesota fall weather

-not bottling up tons of negativity about my job ... but LOVING a job/internship/weekly schedule that made me look forward to the next day and the next day...

-Rarig Center

-seeing performances, musical, theatrical

-being more IN MY BODY

-having people I love always near me, supporting me every day in what I love to do

I know I should feel so lucky to have this opportunity to do all these workshops and classes, but structures out here are so much different, and don't make it easy. Right now I am finding that there is too much structure or not enough structure for my class to work out. I'm unhappy with the lack of support I am receiving in all directions- teaching, being a special ed teacher, being a workshop facilitator for TFA, being an enrichment teacher for Beacons.

It's not that I can't balance all of these things, but rather that it's I am not receiving constructive feedback on how I'm doing, or encouragement to keep doing what I am doing. Instead, people are making clumsy mistakes that reflect on me, other people are giving me more responsibilities that I don't want to have to take on. I guess I am realizing that I cannot be a one-woman-show, and I need people around me who are on the same page, who care about me and who want to see me succeed in being who I am and doing what I do.

I miss my friends, but I know I took on this challenge of being far away.

I miss CTC, Minneapolis, St. Paul, but I know I took on this challenge of doing the work in Denver.

I miss being more confident in what I am doing and feeling a sense of success in my work, but I know I have to be patient, because it will come later.

I just miss. but it will get better.

Happy first day of fall 2010,
C

Amazing Challenges ahead!

The school year has gotten off to a good start. Here is what my day looks like:

1st half hour- 'home room' type class, all 8th grade general education boys, we work on things like doing community service and outreach, character development and just building positive relationships. I love these guys already, I call them all my 'brothers.' Or as Jonathan said, 'brother from another mother of a different color.' They are a hilarious and awesome way to start each day.

2nd period - I teach 7th grade special education students in a Language Arts intervention class. There are 7 students right now, 4 girls and 3 boys. They are very low in their reading and writing skills, but the small class size and their excellent behavior excites me for the possibilities for growth they have this year. We have already completed half a unit in the first 2 weeks! They are flying!

3rd period - Mondays and Fridays I do inclusion support for one 8th grade algebra class, on the other days I use that period for IEP planning time and other paper work I have to do.

4th period - Lunch

5th period- Tuesday-Thursday I do inclusion support for another 8th grade algebra class for 8 students that are designated special education but just need extra help in math.

6th period - 8th grade team meeting/collaborating with teachers.

7th period - Inclusion support for 8th grade general education Language Arts.

Tuesday after school will be my IEP meetings, which I have one every Tuesday for the next 2 months. bummer.

Here comes the exciting news....... drum roolllllll......

I have been asked this year by the Beacon program at our school to teach on Mondays and Wednesdays after school a THEATER CLASS!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited, it starts the week after next. Busy planning that, will fill you in on more details later.

The other exciting commitment I have made this fall is through Teach for America. I will be doing 2 different workshops about Theatre of the Oppressed. This is the work I did my senior year in college, which dealt with using theatre games and techniques to 'rehearse for reality.' I am using 1 professional development seminar night to present one workshop to interested corps members in their 1st or 2nd year. I am then leading a group that will meet 3 times in October to do Theatre of the Oppressed work more in-depth and in a less formal setting. I am SO excited to teach about this and see what my colleagues think about it and have to contribute to what I already know! I am very intimidated with this challenge but know that this is what I came here to do and experiment with and I feel so lucky to have found these opportunities to give it a try.

In the mean time, busy busy planning for all of these things, getting into a new routine and enjoying the end of summer the best I can.

Bought my ski pass and a new ski jacket, so once the crazy fall is over, I'll be ready to hit the slopes. Things are great, things seem to really be falling in to place outside of school and into my passions and interests that got me here in the first place .

Peace-

C