Thinking a lot about soccer, and what is can do/has done/is doing. Reflecting after a few interesting days...
One of the amazing, new TFA teachers at my school who also teaches 8th grade language arts, organized a Holocaust survivor to speak to our kids as a closing to our unit on the Holocaust novels we have been reading. The kids were very excited about it and really behaved and participated quite well. Andre Mark had been in 4 concentration camps, and volunteered to play soccer against the Nazis on a team organized in Auschwitz. Because he was playing soccer so much against them, they got more food than the other inmates and therefore, believed that he survived because of playing soccer. He even brought his old cleats to show the kids, and I was super proud of some of the girls on my team who came up to the stage to ask him what position he played or was he scared ever when he was playing.
Today we had an away game, and while we were on the wayyyy west end of the city, there were gun shots in the neighborhood my school is in, so the baseball team who was playing at our school, had to cancel the game and everyone had to go into the school for a lockdown. By the time we returned, the police had cleared and everything was seemingly okay, but I drove several girls home and had some text me to tell me they got home safe. I feel like somehow, by our game being away, at least I knew my girls were all with me and safe. Even though we lost, we played in the snow! and had a lot of fun together on the ride there and back.
One of the girls on the team also found out today that her mom has breast cancer, 6 tumors and is going to have to start going through chemotherapy. Her sister is in 6th grade and helps me with the equipment, and they are the cutest, nicest, most positive young ladies I've ever come across. So mature and poised and BRAVE. Both of them came today and helped out and had super attitudes. I don't even know what to do for CM and KM, but I feel like somehow, soccer is saving them... At least giving them an escape from the larger than life responsibilities they have to face when they go home (to their house which is right in the neighborhood where there were gunshots today).
I am so glad I decided to coach, I think that it has brought me a joy in connecting with students and the excitement of competition that I haven't experienced in a long time. Somehow, soccer is saving me. Maybe from going crazy at the end of this year, maybe from not hating all the things about my school, maybe from giving up on the school. But somehow, it is saving me.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Happy to report that I think channeling courage to do things that I am afraid of, has started to pay off. In the last week, lots of gifts have revealed themselves to me. I heard back from a few of the schools in Denver I had applied to jobs at, and after a few observations and a stellar interview, I was offered a full-time drama teacher position at a K-8 school in Denver. Teaching theater! Full time! For real! I am so grateful that this school was impressed by what I had to say and what my plans are, and I am so excited to commit to staying at teaching drama here, to see what I can do when given (sort of) my dream opportunity. I know it won’t be perfect, but I know I am not going to take for granted this job, like sometimes I do this one. No more special education obligations that I have to worry about, no more ‘survival mode’ in a failing school, only preparation and excitement about being the drama teacher at Florida Pitt Waller Elementary School! :)
Soccer update: After seeing about 80 girls come out for the soccer try-outs, myself and the other coach cut down our team to 24, awesome 8th and 7th graders. Cutting was tough, but we got it down to girls who have good attitudes and want to show us what they have. We had 2 practices, and a fear of our first game getting snowed out (yes, snowed) but the weather came through, it’s been lots of lovely sunny days, and we won our first game on Friday 4-0! Not only does that ROCK so that we have lots of confidence and fire for all of our other games, but it makes me feel proud that I could choose a team and coach the team to the win!
In other news, like I said, it’s been super sunny and warm here. That fact has steered me away from skiing, just knowing that it’s probably slushy out there, and really not wanting to miss out on the first signs of spring. Looking forward to a week off in Puerto Rico for some relaxation and exploration of some where I’ve never been. Looking forward to visiting home, for tuning up my bike, upcoming kickball games and concerts. Things are generally good.
Left wondering where else do I need to infuse some courage, or where do I need to pull back a little? Does it require courage to go against what your natural inclinations may be? (I think yes!) Being brave to back off or brave to understand that some things may be worth a little bit more of a wait. Perhaps I will focus on that now, backing off and concerning myself only with the things that I can only control.
Peace and happy springtime.
Soccer update: After seeing about 80 girls come out for the soccer try-outs, myself and the other coach cut down our team to 24, awesome 8th and 7th graders. Cutting was tough, but we got it down to girls who have good attitudes and want to show us what they have. We had 2 practices, and a fear of our first game getting snowed out (yes, snowed) but the weather came through, it’s been lots of lovely sunny days, and we won our first game on Friday 4-0! Not only does that ROCK so that we have lots of confidence and fire for all of our other games, but it makes me feel proud that I could choose a team and coach the team to the win!
In other news, like I said, it’s been super sunny and warm here. That fact has steered me away from skiing, just knowing that it’s probably slushy out there, and really not wanting to miss out on the first signs of spring. Looking forward to a week off in Puerto Rico for some relaxation and exploration of some where I’ve never been. Looking forward to visiting home, for tuning up my bike, upcoming kickball games and concerts. Things are generally good.
Left wondering where else do I need to infuse some courage, or where do I need to pull back a little? Does it require courage to go against what your natural inclinations may be? (I think yes!) Being brave to back off or brave to understand that some things may be worth a little bit more of a wait. Perhaps I will focus on that now, backing off and concerning myself only with the things that I can only control.
Peace and happy springtime.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
midway March?
Already this week halfway through?
-Students completed the CSAPs! Some with lots of focus and attention, others with less. I am proud of my testing group for having perfect attendance. I made sure to let the AP and Principal know that fact. :)
-Began girl's soccer try-outs last week and don't have a team yet because we had about 80 girls total come out for try-outs! If my popularity was up before this, it is about to go down when we cut down to 20. The good thing is the after school program has decided to form their own soccer program too, so the girls who don't make our team can do that. I am excited, and really like coaching so far.
- Ran the 5K last weekend in 33 minutes, not too shabby! Trying to keep up the running so I can do more races this spring, but it's been hard this week with lots of meetings and now soccer practice every day. But I want to keep it up.
-2 of my favorite students got in a pretty extreme verbal argument this week that got me pretty down. They are best friends and one is just much more insecure than the other one. I tried to mediate a bit the day of, gave them the night to sleep on it, I slept on it, thought a lot about it.. Baked brownies for them for the next day, and it warmed my heart up so much to see B shake D's hand the next morning in my class. :) I would never want to repeat middle school and all the confusing, extreme emotions that it evokes.
- My best friend came to visit this weekend and made me SO happy. We played a little big of hookey on Friday and visited Red Rocks and Coors Brewery then yesterday spent all day downtown Denver for St. Patrick's Day celebrations. So good to see her, so good to check in with someone who knows me outside of this existence here... goodness all around.
Things for the spring are looking good if this weather and these activities are just a preview - just need to find a job and start carving out the summer/ next year. I am itching to travel, but time and money may be too much of an issue to consider that.
My fears? Not finding a job that I want that is going to keep me here, being alone, other bigger picture things are what are currently forcing me to channel courage. I am pretty comfortable at work right now, while it's stressful I am grateful for the people and kids that really help me enjoy being a teacher. I just hope that the skills and lessons I've picked up so far will lead me towards my next stone on this journey. I really think that embracing this whole thing as a journey has forced me to use a lot of courage lately, to let go of viewing myself as fleeting from here once again, moving on to a different stage. While I am looking to move on, it's in a more local direction. I think I need more courage to infuse myself with more self-confidence and resilience to heartbreak. Embracing the independence I know so well but being open and giving with the love I do have to give.
So grateful for the spring springing up around us here in Denver. Grateful for my best friend, my new friends, my old friends and my family. Grateful for new ideas and new, healthy living habits. Grateful for the present moment.
-Students completed the CSAPs! Some with lots of focus and attention, others with less. I am proud of my testing group for having perfect attendance. I made sure to let the AP and Principal know that fact. :)
-Began girl's soccer try-outs last week and don't have a team yet because we had about 80 girls total come out for try-outs! If my popularity was up before this, it is about to go down when we cut down to 20. The good thing is the after school program has decided to form their own soccer program too, so the girls who don't make our team can do that. I am excited, and really like coaching so far.
- Ran the 5K last weekend in 33 minutes, not too shabby! Trying to keep up the running so I can do more races this spring, but it's been hard this week with lots of meetings and now soccer practice every day. But I want to keep it up.
-2 of my favorite students got in a pretty extreme verbal argument this week that got me pretty down. They are best friends and one is just much more insecure than the other one. I tried to mediate a bit the day of, gave them the night to sleep on it, I slept on it, thought a lot about it.. Baked brownies for them for the next day, and it warmed my heart up so much to see B shake D's hand the next morning in my class. :) I would never want to repeat middle school and all the confusing, extreme emotions that it evokes.
- My best friend came to visit this weekend and made me SO happy. We played a little big of hookey on Friday and visited Red Rocks and Coors Brewery then yesterday spent all day downtown Denver for St. Patrick's Day celebrations. So good to see her, so good to check in with someone who knows me outside of this existence here... goodness all around.
Things for the spring are looking good if this weather and these activities are just a preview - just need to find a job and start carving out the summer/ next year. I am itching to travel, but time and money may be too much of an issue to consider that.
My fears? Not finding a job that I want that is going to keep me here, being alone, other bigger picture things are what are currently forcing me to channel courage. I am pretty comfortable at work right now, while it's stressful I am grateful for the people and kids that really help me enjoy being a teacher. I just hope that the skills and lessons I've picked up so far will lead me towards my next stone on this journey. I really think that embracing this whole thing as a journey has forced me to use a lot of courage lately, to let go of viewing myself as fleeting from here once again, moving on to a different stage. While I am looking to move on, it's in a more local direction. I think I need more courage to infuse myself with more self-confidence and resilience to heartbreak. Embracing the independence I know so well but being open and giving with the love I do have to give.
So grateful for the spring springing up around us here in Denver. Grateful for my best friend, my new friends, my old friends and my family. Grateful for new ideas and new, healthy living habits. Grateful for the present moment.
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