a second from my soap box

Excited to share some upcoming transitions in the life of this drama teacher...

Most recent news, my man and I found a quaint little, but newly remodeled home in the Highlands neighborhood in Denver, and we will be moving in mid-May. No more bachelorette pad, no more Wash Park, the tides are changing! And I am embracing the next step of our relationship in this new space.

Next year I will be the first drama teacher to teach at the Denver Center for International Studies (DCIS) at the downtown campus. They are a 6-12 school in Denver Public Schools, and if you check out the website, you can learn a lot more about how incredibly awesome of a school it is. I have my work cut out for me, there is already a strong, existing student-led Drama Club that will be putting on their 4th production, and they gave me a laundry list of how they'd like me to provide my courses. I am extremely humbled and enthusiastic about joining the staff and students at DCIS, get me there now!

I am leaving my school on bittersweet terms, I will definitely miss my students and battle with myself about the holes that will be left in their drama education, but I have to be grateful for this opportunity, that is unlike any I would have ever expected to fall into. Of course, I am leaving to further my career, but honestly I am very encouraged to be a part of a progressive, positive team that puts students first.

Recently at my current school, the work environment has not been the brightest. The area of the city where the school is located faces the popping up of new schools that are charters or have innovative status. This means that the school is still considered a public school, but they are run by a charter, or a different set of rules for things like school day hours, rules, strong school culture run by an academic focus, homework policies, testing schedules, whatever they believe is important can impede what the district has set up. Most of the time, these schools are successful, they have committed teachers and staff, they work hard and they set a strong culture of achievement and academics. Now thats not to say that sometimes these charter schools are not successful either, the work ethic of these staff members cannot always sustain.... it's a lot of work! There are still struggling students if they or their families are not on board with the charter, there is still a lot of discovery to made as far as what works the best, but regardless the popping up of these schools gives parents another option than just the neighborhood school that they would normally have to send their child. They have a choice, and in this area, they can shop around for the school they want to send their children.

On the surface, this creates friction between the traditional-public schools and these charters. Teachers feel "burdened" by the kids who did not get accepted to the charter, getting the "leftovers" or the "bad kids." And it also has been observed that they develop an attitude of resentment, or feeling like, "well those schools do this, and we do that," "why do they choose THEM over US," and an overall separation and negative feeling between the schools and their cultures.

Let me be clear, my new school is not a charter school, rather a school that offers an International Studies diploma to graduates who complete the requirements. It is a public school that is high achieving due to the commitment of staff, parents and students to keep the school academically focused. However, I have been feeling the heat from my current co-workers and their opinions about "those schools" threatening theirs. Without more information, I feel they are judging my decision to go to DCIS and that I am contributing to the overall decline of the public school structures in the district. I have sat back and been a fly on the wall while they carry on conversations about their frustrations with "those schools" and frankly, I need to vent without causing more stress in this work environment for the rest of the year!

The purpose of public schools are to provide a free, equitable education for ALL students. Now how this is done is different all over the country, city to city, rural town to mountain town, form old teachers to young teachers, the public school structure is different every where and it is allowed to be. As long as students are LEARNING, achieving and being supported in their goals, then the public school is doing their job. Instead of separating ourselves by structure or status, why don't teachers take time to go to another school to observe the differences, to take notes on what is working well and what is not working, and how they can adapt to the times and the needs of the school. Why don't teachers put the needs of the students FIRST instead of their own preferences and comfort levels with the schedule, with the curriculum, with the expectations. Reach higher for your students and for yourself than just what you are used to.

Maybe this is all easy for me to say, with my TFA background of having high expectations regardless of economic status, but I think it is also a common sense concept. Being a good teacher takes dedication to always reflecting and making yourself better for your students. If a charter school is better, or the structures within a public school are better, than so be it. But take into consideration the population, the needs, the families, the context of the school, the neighborhood. Stop yourself before you say "those schools" and say "all schools." All schools should be focused on cultivating the whole child. All schools should have academic achievement their primary focus, whatever means necessary. All schools should put students' needs before the needs of their students, and work on whatever it takes to make it the best environment for those students to learn. When we separate ourselves based on status or structure, we separate ourselves from the real mission and purpose of public schools.

That's all, thanks soap box for your hospitality.

To my teachers, from your student (now a teacher)

(e-mailed to my high school English, Spanish, History and Public Service teachers) 

It is standardized testing season in Colorado and so as a “specials” teacher, I have had the duty of assisting with proctoring tests the last full week. With all of this time to just stroll up and down the classroom observing the students, (which is very tiring as you probably know!) I have had a lot of time to think, to reflect and construct some thoughts that I wanted to send your way.

My principal has been asking select staff members to ‘share their story’ at staff meetings this year. In other words, at the beginning of our weekly PD, he chooses one random person to come up and tell everyone why they are a teacher. With the chance of being called up one of these days, I have been reflecting on that very question. It would be easy to just chalk up this career choice for me to chance and luck, that I got selected to be a Teach for America corps member out of college and luckily landed in Denver where the schools aren’t “too bad” and I can call in sick days conveniently when the mountains have got some new inches of snow… But honestly, when I think about why it makes sense for ME to be a teacher, I think about the learning experiences and relationships I had with all of you in high school.

From what I can remember, I did well in school when I was young because I liked it. I liked learning and feeling the confidence that came with presenting and sharing my knowledge with my teachers, peers and family. But as I got into high school, it was harder, the subjects, the social life, the impending future. Despite those inevitable difficulties, I enjoyed high school because of the experiences you provided for me and the connections you made with me as my teachers. Whether it was seeing a certain clip from John Stewart and understanding a political concept, or a deep conversation about a Shakespeare play, doing draft upon draft of a paper,a field trip to Washington D.C., a field trip to a play, discussing effective public service and business strategies through watching “The Apprentice,” doing service in the community, organizing and running food drives, speaking and joking around in Spanish, encouraging travel and international opportunity, encouraging one-on-one conversations about the future, about life, encouragement through hard times, sharing successes and learning and growing from failures…. All of these things are memories and skills that I bring with me every day I walk into my own classroom. I understand the extreme importance of student engagement, because you all had me engaged from the moment I was in your class. You taught me the importance of having positive relationships that sometimes warrant tough love, but always at the end of the day, knowing it is out of love. You showed me high expectations, not settling for my minimum amount of work or effort, but pushing me above and beyond to pursue whatever I wanted to.

As a public school teacher for 4 years now, and who knows for how much longer, I am proud to say that a large part of the reason I am a teacher is because of you guys, my teachers. I just wanted to say thank you to all 4 of you for the ways you inspired me and the ways you inspire your current students, co-workers and your own children every day. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I miss you and would love to hear what is going on with each of you where you are now.

My best,

Caroline 

The Duties of a Teacher

In light of recent events, I've been inspired to reflect on my profession and the responsibilities it includes. Given that teachers are a part of the development and every day lives of growing children, the responsibilities are very vast. And it had not occurred to me until now, my 8th semester of teaching, that I fully realized what I am charged to do every day.


Teachers must be listeners.
We have to receive every word and idea from our students. We have to hold on to their dreams, their fears, their celebrations, their sorrows. We have to look them and listen to them with undivided attention and reception. We have to confirm to them that they may speak their minds and give their opinions in order to affirm to them that they are important and that what they have to say to us really matters.


Teachers must be messengers.
In addition to delivering our content standards, objectives, academic vocabulary, etc. we are messengers of current events, of coping strategies, of life experience, of expectations and consequences. We communicate to them of the riches that lie outside of the classroom walls, and that's a big responsibility! Everything we tell them, they believe, and their imaginations create, they accredit us for those details. They count on us to bring messages into their language and make connections for them to be excited about discovering in the world.


Teachers must be bodyguards.
As long as they are within the walls of our school, they are ours to protect. From what evil is out in the world, from what evil is within the school or evil within themselves. It's our job to save them from anything that could be harmful.


Teachers must be providers.
We have to provide a safe environment for them to develop, to learn, to make connections and to be themselves. We have to provide them with color, light, images, words, numbers, ideas, concepts, film, theater, music, all the things that they may not have access to when they are not in school. We have to provide opportunities for them to experience something new and incredible. They should look forward to discovering what's next that we have to provide for them. We have to provide experiences that they wouldn't get otherwise, and the empowerment to seek these experiences on their own.



Teachers must bring light.
I've heard this before, and thought it was completely cheesy and difficult. But it is absolutely true. When they bring darkness, when there is darkness outside out classrooms, we have to bring the light. A smile, an embrace, a kind voice, a second chance, a second opportunity, a fresh perspective, something other than the same dark responses or words that they might hear or have in their lives. It is a teacher's responsibility to bring encouragement, positivity, patience, empowerment to ALL students, regardless of their ability or engagement level. They all deserve to have teachers that try their hardest to reach them and give them the light that they need.



This is daunting to think about. However, not impossible. I know plenty of teachers who want to be all these things for students, and also know that it is imperative. And if one is not willing to listen, deliver messages, bodyguard, provide and bring light, then they're in the wrong career!

An academic post for you

This is what I posted for my last week of my first semester of grad school. I had to revisit a question I had made for myself at the beginning of the class.... 2) Will research and implementation of more effective drama teaching methods create a stronger drama program within my school? And if so, will the attitude and support within the school community improve if the program is strengthened by the drama teacher? Ahh.. revisiting this question right now at this point in the school year is frustrating because of certain recent events at work. As much as I want to take my Critical Links question and embrace it and make it my everyday teaching philosophy, I am very frustrated right now by what kind of feedback I have been getting from my school community. To briefly fill you in, I have been working the last few months on a small production with a large group of kids to perform one night next week in the school “Winterfest” program. Last week, a group of students “supervised” by a teacher in the building got onto the stage and took things for the play without asking, painted over things, broke things, took things, not belonging to them. My reaction was to reach out to the community asking for an explanation and explaining my boundaries and allowances for using drama club materials, and I was responded with basically a “we don’t care about your problems as the drama teacher” attitude. Completely discouraged by this response, I am pushing through the weeks until the performance next week trying to keep a positive attitude and remembering that this is for my students, not for me. It seems like my critical links question has sort of been answered. For the first time, I am doing major set construction, sound system/microphones, songs, hired a pianist, making costumes myself, have many people involved in the production. I am upping my drama teaching methods in order to meet the needs of my students- they are talented and deserve to put on a full scale play! However, the community seems to be responding with disregard for the work, not improving the community but rather further dividing it. I guess I have to take it upon myself to set this incident aside and say that it may take longer or it may take until AFTER the play goes up for the community to have more awareness and appreciation for me to notice. But for the time being, maybe I need to scale down my efforts to see a bigger impact. I have decided that for the future, I am not going to communicate with the staff about negative events, but rather just focus on the positive ones. I will also be more focused and specific with my projects to make sure that I don’t over-commit myself or over-stress myself on one project so that it discourages me from continuing my work. It has helped to delegate tasks to others, but it has also made it more of a high stakes performance to please all the people who have helped out. Hopefully, once I take these reflections and incorporate them into my attitude, methods and practices as the school drama teacher, I will see a positive impact in the community.

A Day Off (sort of)

Today I got to call in a sub to attend the annual Shakespeare Workshop to help begin to prepare DPS teachers for the 2013 Shakespeare Festival in April. This entails a 9-2:30 commitment, with a lovely lunch and breakfast, a two hour, hands-on drama lesson with the Denver Center for Performing Arts, and the company of other equally as engaged with Shakespeare teachers from across the district. I also added in an extra hour and a half of sleep, a long shower, a trip to the coffee shop to catch up on grad school work, and a definite commitment to going to yoga tonight. This was a DREAM compared to the ten hour days I've been putting in the last few weeks, with 7am meetings, rehearsals and waiting for parents at school until 5pm, calling multiple middle school students' parents regarding bad behavior, kindengarteners starting fights and peeling gum off my classroom floor and walls, driving to school in the dark, driving home in traffic in the dark.. ugh, this time of year it seems like the list of my complaints is endless. Thinking about making today a bit more about me, and not as much about my 100+ students of the moment and my drama club overall felt refreshing. Although it scares me to admit, what if I am already after 3 1/2 years realizing I am not cut out for this career in teaching? Unfortunately, the statistics are not in my favor. It is proven that teachers start to leave their jobs after 4 years due to burn out. Under appreciation, over working, and not enough pay leads to once inspired classroom leaders to want to find something more fulfilling for the pocket book and for the soul. Not that I don't get a lot out of what I am doing. Lately, more and more I see that I "get it" I do know how to teach my content and I know how to catch the kids that think they aren't into drama. I know how to solve classroom management problem issues, I know how to set up good classroom structures, and communicate directions with energy and positivity. And there are days (some days) that I end a class or go home feeling confident that I made a difference, and I can chalk it up as a "good day." However, I am beaten down, easily irritable, easily upset and prone to negativity by this time of the year. My emotions take a toll from being cut off most of the day with my students, and co-workers that when I have an outlet, I take it. And I am discouraged about how much longer I can neglect the needs I have personally. When have I put in enough time in the classroom when I can walk away without any guilt or regret? Is this a selfish idea to want to give myself a little more grace and care throughout the week? Am I doing enough to take care of myself right now, am I just hitting a hormonal point that is causing all of this to come out? Am I not being challenged enough in the ways I want to be challenge? Maybe I won't know all the answers to these questions until I take a break from teaching and see how it feels to not call a classroom my own for a year. Or maybe I owe it to myself and my students to stick it out and give them my best for a few more good years before I have to balance my own children with a career. All I know is I am tired. I am not sleeping because my brain keeps me awake with lists, solutions, problems, ideas, and possible catastrophes. How do teachers teach for 10+ years? That makes me even more tired thinking about it.

NIght before Election 2012

I remember that November day in 2008, there was a different atmosphere every where I went. Maybe it was because I was living and existing within the liberal and academic confines of a university, but I remember that victorious and liberating sense that hung about Minneapolis like it like it was yesterday. My class mates and I had worked hard in sorting out our own thoughts and responsibilities in voting in our first presidential election. Mine was made up of a few experiences, such as losing my job at an independent business due to the economic downturn, participating or observing worker's strikes on campus, participating in political performances and many lucid conversations with friends in college and friends from studying overseas. Being a campaign volunteer, and a Chicago-bred girl also helped the victor's cause as I was a bleeding heart Obama fan, ready to cast my vote for change. Flash forward four years later to my 25-year old self, to my classroom in Denver within an urban public school district. Now I am a current graduate student with 3 1/2 years teaching under my belt, working hard to close the racial and socioeconomic achievement gap, dutifully paying my taxes, using my health care plan as an independent, exercising my specific rights as a female, and doing my share to contribute to the American society. And may I add that the things I have experienced just in the last four years have transformed me into someone completely different than who I was four years ago when I cast my first vote. I have been exposed to the difficulties the economy has presented to low to middle class families. I have witnessed the difficulties that complicated immigration policies present. I have seen injustice within the American school system and I have been a part of the after effects from NCLB. This has made me wary and worried about the status of Americans, primarily with equity and accessibility for all citizens to a good, healthy and happy life. With all this being said, I still do have a lot yet to experience. More things to come that will shed even more light on the government and its connections to me. However I feel refreshed to take a step back and realize how much more affected and more informed I am this round, and confident about how I am casting my vote and how it will impact my future. On the night before the 2008 presidential election, I sat down and wrote about communication, and human interactions. Perhaps mostly because I was performing my first big civic duty of participating in democracy, to have my voice heard and my vote counted. Perhaps also I was heavily engaged in theater-based classes and soaking in new information like a greedy sponge every day. But in my reflections that night, I also charged my community with an important task that I myself in the last four years have failed to fulfill, so I am not about to blame our president for falling short on any of his promises. My much more insightful and empathetic self actually said, "No matter where you are, there is no harm in speaking with people about their world-view. Being as informed as you possibly can only makes you more confused, but it can also only offer an exchange to inform the less informed. Speaking with people, body to body, face to face and creating a chain of real story-telling I think is the most conducive way to START change, somewhere in the world at least. Build space for mutual respect and share your own history." Yikes, Caroline. Then how come you haven't been engaging with others about this election? Yes of course, engaging with friends who share the same views. Definitely engaging with my students, from the ages of five to fifteen, about who would THEY vote for and why, and asking them why I should vote for who I will vote for. Engaging with my parents and close family who I already knew agreed with me in the first place. Engaging with my boyfriend in a few challenging conversations, who tends to reject politics because of the devisiveness it causes within his family. But have I been trying to "informed the less informed?" I wouldn't put 4th graders into the less informed category, necessarily because they cannot vote. Back the train up, have I made myself as informed as I can possibly be? I wish I could do better. I wish I took time to speak with others who have different perspectives than I do, to understand their stories more thoroughly, and to challenge my own thinking. I teach my students to think that way, why can't I practice it myself? The public has been quick to size up Obama's '08 promises to the results he has presented since he was elected. But before we are so quick to consider his failures, perhaps we should check on our own. When resolutions or promises have you failed to maintain over the past four years? Over the past year, six months, week? How often do you hold yourself accountable to living the values that you hold so important in a leader of our country? Do you challenge your own thinking by engaging with others, or by taking opportunities to teach when you think there is a teaching moment to be had? Nobody is perfect, and nobody should pretend to be. But I do think that everyone deserves multiple chances to check in with themselves and hold themselves responsible for their own actions. Lucky for me, I spend my day chock-full of teachable moments and have many of them! But I have decided I am not going to waste any more of those opportunities. I am not going to pass up chances to listen, to consider or to engage (and that includes seven year olds to seventy year olds). My older, more reserved self, is going to take the advice of a strapping 21-year-old hopeful that landed herself in Colorado to take this voting opportunity to engage, to teach, to learn, to listen, and to live my values.

3 years of teaching, check!

One more week of my 3rd year of teaching! Compared to my first two, this one has definitely given me more satisfaction, more enjoyment and more personal growth I think than I had in my first two. Being in a new school, in a new position, new living situation, new friends and family in Colorado, I really think I have clarified a lot of things that were fuzzy before and I know that being a teacher is what I am supposed to be doing. It is excited to see this a bit more clearly and to be able to plan for the next few years to work harder on being the best drama teacher that I can be. This weekend I did a day and a half training for being licensed to teach yoga to kids. I decided to do it in spite of a parent letter I got from one of my students addressing the yoga stretches I teach my kids in drama. They had asked me to not involve their child in any yoga activities whatsoever and so this sparked my curiosity about what it actually DOES mean to teach yoga. I went through a training at a local yoga organization here in Denver, and I am excited to see where this new knowledge takes me. I have a lot of ideas about adding different activities and concepts to my curriculum, and even adding an after school yoga club at my school. The summer is filled with a few visits from family and friends, a trip to St. Louis, a trip to California, and possibly a trip to Chicago. I will also be teaching drama at the Museo de las Americas and preparing to start my graduate program in the fall. Crazy how fast 3 years have gone by, especially this last year. I am grateful for all of the changes that have presented themselves and allowed me to grow and learn and allow Denver to be a bigger and bigger part of who I am and the direction I am taking my career and life!