Fresh off from Thanksgiving, I have to say that it is always pleasant and rejuvenating to be back in the Chicagoland area. As I have become older, I have spent more time in the city as a young person, veering away from Lake County, IL and travelling down to the city to visit friends and experience their city life. Not as massive or seemingly unaccessible as NYC, Chicago has a home town charm within the big city feel. Having to take the El or a taxi to get around, it's exciting for me each time I visit to uncover new places for beer, food, meet up with friends that have made their lives in the Windy City. Similarly chilly like Minneapolis with an equivalently broad theater and art scene, Chicago could have a place for me some day. I can definitely see it being financially an adjustment from Denver, but the skyline could be my new adopted mountain view I suppose.
On that note, will be sending the Northwestern app away soon, on Sunday I finalized the Berkeley application. My goal is to turn one in each Sunday in December so I have completed them all before Christmas break. Nothing weighing on me, I can just go back and enjoy Chicago to the fullest. This Sunday will be that purple and white school I have applied to twice before, the to the school I want to go to the most, the University of Texas at Austin, then finally sending another application to CUNY. This whole grad school app process has been tiring and has filled me with plenty of doubts, but I do think that it was the right thing to do and if it works out, will be a great next step for me.
Right now, work is tough. I got an additional 8th grade class of special ed students but I am teaching the general education curriculum at a modified pace. The kids have a great desire to improve and learn, but their motivation to get started or to think outside the box, is super low. Today I got a few blows after I had told them that we were behind the class they had moved out of, due to poor attendance and tardies to my class. I was speaking the truth to them, that we are only really one day behind the class, but to them it seemed like the world. . . They were angry and asked why did I move them out of that class, why can't they go back to that class, why do we do different things in here. I told them that I had picked them to be in my class so that we could move at a different pace and get in different activities that would help them MORE in the long run. That I was changing things up and trying to get them to write in any way that I can. They HATE writing, they had a standardized writing test today, and so I think they were mostly taking their frustration of that test out on me. I was proud of them for understanding that this is going to take a lot of hard work, but I would be lying if I said their words didn't hurt me.
But when I got home tonight, I was reactionary and put a few hours into a solid plan for tomorrow that will hopefully re-energize us all. Unfortunately, it seems like teaching in these conditions sets you into that cycle. One tough day sends you into an inspirational whirlwind of planning and scheming new ways to respond to the students' needs. Unfortunately, your creative or sensitive instincts aren't enough, and you can never predict how a group of middle schoolers are going to respond to you on any given day.
I appreciate my students for helping me find purpose in what I am doing and for being honest and responsive. I just want them to wake up and realize why this is important. And why it is going to take more than just ME but me AND them to improve their writing this year.
Any teachers or wise old owls out there have any excellent writing strategies/investment strategies for me and my students, send them this way. :)
And welcome December.
C
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Caroline in New York City
I am going to use this as a space to continue to reflect on my teaching experiences and developing work towards teaching theatre, BUT I am also going to start using it as a space to practice my writing skills as well as paint pictures of the places I may be heading off to next year, as I visit them and experience them to the fullest.
Untouchable, unmanageable, unfriendly, unclean, unaccessible. All un-words that most people want to use to describe NYC. But I’d challenge most people to get a map and ride the subway any where in the city, just get out and walk around the stop that intrigues them most. For me this time around, it was a quick trip to a school in the Bronx to meet some students and teachers for a possible job opportunity. Theres an incredible freedom of riding below the busy streets and sidewalks, and emerging into some where unlike where you descended into the subway system. I guess it may take an adventurous type to enjoy this mystery, dirtiness and complicated puzzle, but it’s not a stretch to say that I don’t think it is hard for most to find that there is so much beauty in New York in these little complications.
Two of my friends who have recently moved to “the city” say, like most people, that they’ve known they wanted to live here their whole lives. That they knew they wanted to be here and however hard or stressful the lifestyle can be, that they know they are in the right place right now. Operating on two extremely different ends of the spectrum in terms of career and current financial situations, my two friends are getting by. One friend, in a high rise flat near Lincoln Square, my other friend commuting 90 minutes by train every day from Jersey City, they both have made it work for them in their separate ways; taking the subway and trains, buses, versus walking or paying cab fare to get around the city. Socializing on the Upper East Side with financial buisness men, versus working multiple jobs every day and barely making bill payments and rent. Staying awake until 8am, then sleeping until 4pm to work a night shift for half of the week, adjusting to a sleep schedule that half a million other people share. All of these factors weighed out by the quality of opportunities that present themselves on any given day or night. Meeting famous TV producers, actors, musicians, theorists, playwrights, people who probably went through the same day-to-day struggles, living and working side by side the ones who just moved out there to get their start. It’s a trade- off for sure, life style, work ethic but it seems as though it leads people to amazing opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise even touched. While both of them have used the words, “New York can kick your ass,” they have also rebounded from that and experienced small personal victories like finding an amazing bakery or farmer’s market. For every nasty day, there is always sun the next.
As a little girl, I played the role of “Annie” in the popular musical about a feisty red-headed orphan that falls up on the fortunate run-in with Daddy Warbucks, a rich New Yorker who exposes her to the ‘good life’ and all the riches New York has to offer. I remember learning the lines that Annie says to Daddy Warbucks about how amazing New York City is from the other side, and the sing together, “NYC.... what is it about you? You’re big, you’re loud, you’re tough.” At the risk of being completely cliche, at this point I feel a little like Annie, coming to New York with wonder and amazement, not yet experiencing the jaded attitude many feel quickly after they’ve been out here a few times. I’m still marveled by the endless possibilities that seem to exist here, the cute cafes, shops, the subway, skyscrapers, everything. Making a decision about moving to New York is a big deal, no matter how many connections or how much confidence you’ve collected. I guess deciding if trading off comfort for connections, food for professional advancement, and taking new inventory on what makes you happy- maybe it’s the subway ride or the skyline or seeing someone you know on the street (this happened to me!) This time around I can really feel this place in my grasp, I can see where I would live, work, socialize, but I can also see how quickly I could become jaded as well, and worn down by the crowds, the dirt, the immensity. Either way, I appreciate that this big city has found a little place of possibility for me.
Untouchable, unmanageable, unfriendly, unclean, unaccessible. All un-words that most people want to use to describe NYC. But I’d challenge most people to get a map and ride the subway any where in the city, just get out and walk around the stop that intrigues them most. For me this time around, it was a quick trip to a school in the Bronx to meet some students and teachers for a possible job opportunity. Theres an incredible freedom of riding below the busy streets and sidewalks, and emerging into some where unlike where you descended into the subway system. I guess it may take an adventurous type to enjoy this mystery, dirtiness and complicated puzzle, but it’s not a stretch to say that I don’t think it is hard for most to find that there is so much beauty in New York in these little complications.
Two of my friends who have recently moved to “the city” say, like most people, that they’ve known they wanted to live here their whole lives. That they knew they wanted to be here and however hard or stressful the lifestyle can be, that they know they are in the right place right now. Operating on two extremely different ends of the spectrum in terms of career and current financial situations, my two friends are getting by. One friend, in a high rise flat near Lincoln Square, my other friend commuting 90 minutes by train every day from Jersey City, they both have made it work for them in their separate ways; taking the subway and trains, buses, versus walking or paying cab fare to get around the city. Socializing on the Upper East Side with financial buisness men, versus working multiple jobs every day and barely making bill payments and rent. Staying awake until 8am, then sleeping until 4pm to work a night shift for half of the week, adjusting to a sleep schedule that half a million other people share. All of these factors weighed out by the quality of opportunities that present themselves on any given day or night. Meeting famous TV producers, actors, musicians, theorists, playwrights, people who probably went through the same day-to-day struggles, living and working side by side the ones who just moved out there to get their start. It’s a trade- off for sure, life style, work ethic but it seems as though it leads people to amazing opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise even touched. While both of them have used the words, “New York can kick your ass,” they have also rebounded from that and experienced small personal victories like finding an amazing bakery or farmer’s market. For every nasty day, there is always sun the next.
As a little girl, I played the role of “Annie” in the popular musical about a feisty red-headed orphan that falls up on the fortunate run-in with Daddy Warbucks, a rich New Yorker who exposes her to the ‘good life’ and all the riches New York has to offer. I remember learning the lines that Annie says to Daddy Warbucks about how amazing New York City is from the other side, and the sing together, “NYC.... what is it about you? You’re big, you’re loud, you’re tough.” At the risk of being completely cliche, at this point I feel a little like Annie, coming to New York with wonder and amazement, not yet experiencing the jaded attitude many feel quickly after they’ve been out here a few times. I’m still marveled by the endless possibilities that seem to exist here, the cute cafes, shops, the subway, skyscrapers, everything. Making a decision about moving to New York is a big deal, no matter how many connections or how much confidence you’ve collected. I guess deciding if trading off comfort for connections, food for professional advancement, and taking new inventory on what makes you happy- maybe it’s the subway ride or the skyline or seeing someone you know on the street (this happened to me!) This time around I can really feel this place in my grasp, I can see where I would live, work, socialize, but I can also see how quickly I could become jaded as well, and worn down by the crowds, the dirt, the immensity. Either way, I appreciate that this big city has found a little place of possibility for me.
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