Caroline in New York City

I am going to use this as a space to continue to reflect on my teaching experiences and developing work towards teaching theatre, BUT I am also going to start using it as a space to practice my writing skills as well as paint pictures of the places I may be heading off to next year, as I visit them and experience them to the fullest.

Untouchable, unmanageable, unfriendly, unclean, unaccessible. All un-words that most people want to use to describe NYC. But I’d challenge most people to get a map and ride the subway any where in the city, just get out and walk around the stop that intrigues them most. For me this time around, it was a quick trip to a school in the Bronx to meet some students and teachers for a possible job opportunity. Theres an incredible freedom of riding below the busy streets and sidewalks, and emerging into some where unlike where you descended into the subway system. I guess it may take an adventurous type to enjoy this mystery, dirtiness and complicated puzzle, but it’s not a stretch to say that I don’t think it is hard for most to find that there is so much beauty in New York in these little complications.

Two of my friends who have recently moved to “the city” say, like most people, that they’ve known they wanted to live here their whole lives. That they knew they wanted to be here and however hard or stressful the lifestyle can be, that they know they are in the right place right now. Operating on two extremely different ends of the spectrum in terms of career and current financial situations, my two friends are getting by. One friend, in a high rise flat near Lincoln Square, my other friend commuting 90 minutes by train every day from Jersey City, they both have made it work for them in their separate ways; taking the subway and trains, buses, versus walking or paying cab fare to get around the city. Socializing on the Upper East Side with financial buisness men, versus working multiple jobs every day and barely making bill payments and rent. Staying awake until 8am, then sleeping until 4pm to work a night shift for half of the week, adjusting to a sleep schedule that half a million other people share. All of these factors weighed out by the quality of opportunities that present themselves on any given day or night. Meeting famous TV producers, actors, musicians, theorists, playwrights, people who probably went through the same day-to-day struggles, living and working side by side the ones who just moved out there to get their start. It’s a trade- off for sure, life style, work ethic but it seems as though it leads people to amazing opportunities they wouldn’t have otherwise even touched. While both of them have used the words, “New York can kick your ass,” they have also rebounded from that and experienced small personal victories like finding an amazing bakery or farmer’s market. For every nasty day, there is always sun the next.

As a little girl, I played the role of “Annie” in the popular musical about a feisty red-headed orphan that falls up on the fortunate run-in with Daddy Warbucks, a rich New Yorker who exposes her to the ‘good life’ and all the riches New York has to offer. I remember learning the lines that Annie says to Daddy Warbucks about how amazing New York City is from the other side, and the sing together, “NYC.... what is it about you? You’re big, you’re loud, you’re tough.” At the risk of being completely cliche, at this point I feel a little like Annie, coming to New York with wonder and amazement, not yet experiencing the jaded attitude many feel quickly after they’ve been out here a few times. I’m still marveled by the endless possibilities that seem to exist here, the cute cafes, shops, the subway, skyscrapers, everything. Making a decision about moving to New York is a big deal, no matter how many connections or how much confidence you’ve collected. I guess deciding if trading off comfort for connections, food for professional advancement, and taking new inventory on what makes you happy- maybe it’s the subway ride or the skyline or seeing someone you know on the street (this happened to me!) This time around I can really feel this place in my grasp, I can see where I would live, work, socialize, but I can also see how quickly I could become jaded as well, and worn down by the crowds, the dirt, the immensity. Either way, I appreciate that this big city has found a little place of possibility for me.