Thank goodness it is TFA (totally free afternoon) day, for my own sanity!
Hi Nora,
Thanks for your letter and encouragement. When I get home tonight, I
will definitely curl up and look at it all again as I re-evaluate what
I am doing here because it has been one of those days. Today was the
first really bad day- close to tears, why am I doing this? am I cut
out to be a teacher day.
First of all, there were 7 student there today, the most we have had.
The kids came in this morning and I had a fun review game planned,
started out a bit rough but they got to enjoying it and showed me that
they DID retain some things. So that moment of the day was the only
positive that I can come away with.
Then the administration of like 5 teachers bursted into our room and
asked to search all the students for their cell phones, so the
students were taken off guard and shaken up a bit.
Then we transitioned into Lit circles, and I have been sharing with
the girls in the class, stories about the freedom fighters, asking
them questions about the rights they have now versus the rights these
women didn't have back in the day. The girls were NOT interested in
reading, talking, understanding anything. So I asked them to write to
me what they want to read about and what they are interested in, and
they didn't really have any feedback, they were just tired and resigned.
THEN we transitioned into the reading hour, and the whole class
period, all but 2 of the students were resting their heads on their
desks, tired, unresponsive. It was terrible because I had given them
an intense writing assignment because their writing has been so poor-
I have been pushing them to write more like high schoolers, in
complete sentences with detailed ideas, and it took them each about 5
minutes to get motivated to even start the writing. Then my advisor
came in to observe me, of course in the last half hour of class when
my students were actually sleeping and not even responding to my
individual attempts to motivate them and get them redirected and back
into the class. I had to speak to them at the end to tell them what I
expect of them and how I come to class prepared (after scrambling this
morning after copies I had outsourced were not in my mailbox, I WAS
prepared for them) and how I expect them to get enough sleep at night
so that THEY are prepared for class. That they made a choice to be
here every day, they failed the test so that they need to take
responsibility for their education that I am giving them so that they
can go to high school.
After they left the class, I felt the tears about to come up, my
advisor told me to breathe and told me what she would have done, but
what I had done was done. Although today was extremely hard, I am not
discouraged, I am just realizing the simple things that my students
are not getting, and while I DO believe in them, it is easy to think
that they don't care enough to get enough sleep at night.
The good news is, we are being released from institute early today- we
get a half day off to go back and relax which is GREAT. I am going to
read your note again and think about things. Evaluate my teaching and
my approach to my students. This isn't easy but I am learning and
hopefully the next good day outweighs this awful day.
Sorry to send a gloomy note, but I hope you are really well and thanks
a lot for your encouragement. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
Peace,
C
Thanks for your letter and encouragement. When I get home tonight, I
will definitely curl up and look at it all again as I re-evaluate what
I am doing here because it has been one of those days. Today was the
first really bad day- close to tears, why am I doing this? am I cut
out to be a teacher day.
First of all, there were 7 student there today, the most we have had.
The kids came in this morning and I had a fun review game planned,
started out a bit rough but they got to enjoying it and showed me that
they DID retain some things. So that moment of the day was the only
positive that I can come away with.
Then the administration of like 5 teachers bursted into our room and
asked to search all the students for their cell phones, so the
students were taken off guard and shaken up a bit.
Then we transitioned into Lit circles, and I have been sharing with
the girls in the class, stories about the freedom fighters, asking
them questions about the rights they have now versus the rights these
women didn't have back in the day. The girls were NOT interested in
reading, talking, understanding anything. So I asked them to write to
me what they want to read about and what they are interested in, and
they didn't really have any feedback, they were just tired and resigned.
THEN we transitioned into the reading hour, and the whole class
period, all but 2 of the students were resting their heads on their
desks, tired, unresponsive. It was terrible because I had given them
an intense writing assignment because their writing has been so poor-
I have been pushing them to write more like high schoolers, in
complete sentences with detailed ideas, and it took them each about 5
minutes to get motivated to even start the writing. Then my advisor
came in to observe me, of course in the last half hour of class when
my students were actually sleeping and not even responding to my
individual attempts to motivate them and get them redirected and back
into the class. I had to speak to them at the end to tell them what I
expect of them and how I come to class prepared (after scrambling this
morning after copies I had outsourced were not in my mailbox, I WAS
prepared for them) and how I expect them to get enough sleep at night
so that THEY are prepared for class. That they made a choice to be
here every day, they failed the test so that they need to take
responsibility for their education that I am giving them so that they
can go to high school.
After they left the class, I felt the tears about to come up, my
advisor told me to breathe and told me what she would have done, but
what I had done was done. Although today was extremely hard, I am not
discouraged, I am just realizing the simple things that my students
are not getting, and while I DO believe in them, it is easy to think
that they don't care enough to get enough sleep at night.
The good news is, we are being released from institute early today- we
get a half day off to go back and relax which is GREAT. I am going to
read your note again and think about things. Evaluate my teaching and
my approach to my students. This isn't easy but I am learning and
hopefully the next good day outweighs this awful day.
Sorry to send a gloomy note, but I hope you are really well and thanks
a lot for your encouragement. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
Peace,
C
Hang in there :/
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