A year ago, I only had responsibility for myself and my theatre classes, my little house on 15th in Dinkytown and graduating with a decent GPA.
Now I am responsible for 37 middle school students with learning and emotional disabilities, not only for their education but for their paperwork, their success within the day and their future! I am responsible for myself and my own apartment, car, teaching licensure classes and district and TFA professional development. I am also responsible to other adults, teachers, administrators, parents and colleagues at my school and in my organization.
A year ago, I was entrenched in theatre for social change, performing, writing, working in Mpls/St Paul public schools and CTC, art history discussions about cultural implications and proposals for change in the world using art and critical thought.
Now I am entrenched in writing IEPs, lesson plans, literacy strategies, differentiation for different learners, doing active research in the classroom, completing a teaching portfolio, holding effective meetings, running a smooth classroom and continuously improving my practices in the classroom.
A year ago, I was surrounded by good friends, teachers, artists and family-ish close people in my life for me to depend on and talk to on a daily basis.
Now I am surrounded by 6th and 8th graders that look to me to be strong, consistent, trustworthy, all-knowing, and dependable for them on a daily basis. Talking to my support system of family and friends much more sparingly, and looking inward and in my students for a lot of answers to questions I have.
A year ago, I had no idea what was going to come next! But I embraced the uncertainty and challenge that this opportunity had to offer me. Now, I am here, and despite all the rough days and self doubt, I am doing just fine. Not failing and falling on my face, but constantly learning and putting myself up to the challenge of teaching in a high needs school to high needs kids.
A year ago, I saw a clear connection between my passion for theatre and arts integration in public schools improving literacy retention and proficiency. I had a vision for the impact I was going to make in schools if I was given my own opportunity to teach. Now, here I am, feeling like I just have to impulsively solve problems on a 'survival mode' basis. Struggling to see the time, energy, motivation, possibility of integrating theatre and art in my classroom. While doing this comes naturally, there are strains and pushes and pulls in all directions to teach a certain thing in a certain way. But I do think I have figured out what is missing and why it is missing. And I think from that, I can start to thread my own ideas into my teaching in the future and my plans for what may come next.
What's next? Maybe in a year I will know! In the mean time, only about 4 more instructional weeks with my students of this year. I am going to enjoy them and continue to embrace all the challenges that this time has to offer me.
Lots of love and gratefulness.
C
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