**First "why I teach" post **

It came to me within these last two days. Even with complete frustration, solid busy days with IEP meetings and pushing through teaching four classes-- I had my first glimpse of some "why I teach moments" in my days.

2 students. D and B we'll say here.

D is an 8th grader with a learning disability in math. He is one of my highest students in reading and writing but he has difficulties with multiple step problems in math and working with multiple digit numbers. He works very hard and is very well behaved. He is friendly and talks to me a lot about football and about school things. His mom died 3 days after he was born and his dad has been in jail. He is taken care of by his great-grandmother who has suffered from a few strokes, she is 83 years old and not only takes care of D but also some other grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday was D's meeting and we re-evaluated him for his learning disability. After the meeting he disclosed to me privately how he hates how people talk to him and make him feel dumb. Today D wasn't in my 1st period. 5th period he came to me with a "late to school" pass and he told me that he had to take the public bus to the hospital to help his grandma get a blood test, then he had to take the public bus back to his home then the bus back to school, making it by about 11pm. He was obviously very tired and very hungry, he has only been sleeping about 4 hours a night and only eats what he gets for free at school. I took D to the cafeteria during 6th grade lunch and let him eat and sit in my room to "re-charge" for math class. He came into math and took diligent notes, and even after the other aide in the room gave him a hard time for seeming tired, he persisted to work hard and give more effort in math than I have ever seen him give in math before.

My 2nd student, B is also an 8th grader. Very hard to get control of in the classroom. He likes to leave the room when he feels like it, he swears and says vulgar things constantly and cane be very manipulative because he has a charming personality and knows how to win teachers over. B was let onto the school soccer team, but on the conditions that his teachers gave him good reports to the soccer coach throughout the week. Every week, I would remind him that his games were at stake, and it seemed as thought every week something would happen in a class or after school that would keep him from getting a good report. Last week B's sister was suspended for 15 days for having a fight and B wasn't at school the day after that happened. So I talked to the counselor about what was going on with him and she informed me that their mother has a boyfriend who fights with her and is suspected to be abusive to her and possibly them as well. After that day, I talked to B about us working together to keep him IN the room as much as he can, and he agreed that he wanted to stay in and learn but he did not know how to control his anger sometimes so he wanted to leave so he could let it out away from other people. Well, today was the last big soccer game of the year, our team was undefeated and we were playing our biggest rival. I checked in with B all day today to make sure he was in his classes and doing what he needed to do- and sure enough he was. FINALLY on the last game day, he cared enough to stay in all his classes and the coach checked in with me at the end of the day and I gave him the thumbs up to put him in. I stood on the sidelines and watched B play for about 3/4 of the game on defense. While he wasn't the best or the fastest, he was the most passionate one out there, and he kept looking over at me, even though he didn't wave or talk to me after, I knew that he cared that I was there and that I helped him finally get his playing time.

AH... that makes it all worth it. For D to try in math, to get fed, to know he can talk to me. For B to stay in his classes, to tell me that he wants to manage his anger and be able to play soccer.

Little successes make the exhaustion and emotion all worth it.

C