I love living out here, my friends, all the things I am learning about teaching, living independently, meeting new people and trying new things. I truly truly do.

And I am grateful for my job, my apartment, my car, my food, all the things and people I have that support me in what I am doing out here.

But I think I know why this is hard.

Teaching seems to be natural to me. However, teaching in this environment, in these conditions with these types of students is not easy. And things not being seamless and easy is not something that I am used to. I have been used to working hard and getting instant gratification and pay off. Routines of easy and satisfying work and comments and feedback. I had challenges in high school and college, but not of this size.

I am getting pulled in so many directions- to my licensure program and classes, to TFA, to my middle school, to my individual departments, to my friends here, at home and in Minnesota, to my family to myself, to my students. I have to worry about balancing all of these things on top of taking good care of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I am struggling to persist in making healthy and good choices for me as well as for my students without sacrificing my happiness in that pursuit.

Living alone makes these challenges even more evident.

BUT I CAN DO THIS.

I have so many people in my life and reasons to keep pushing through every day. My students need me, my community needs me, I NEED ME to get through it and to do it to the best of my capabilities. I am thankful for the education I had. Now it is my responsibility to make my students feel thankful for their middle school education.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.